In the wake of the election and with the holidays breathing down our necks, we’re reaching that exciting time during the year when hearty, passionate discussions of politics arise within the family. In a perfect world, these talks would be eloquent and productive. They would help increase everyone’s knowledge on current issues and extinguish misunderstandings and prejudices. Unfortunately, this is not how it usually goes. Usually, it just devolves into people yelling at each other or listening to one relative recite Alex Jones-level conspiracy theories while everyone else tries to tune them out. Despite how painfully awkward these conversations can be, I strongly advocate for engaging with your family members in these discussions.

When I hear my relatives repeat something ignorant, misinformed or even worse, hateful, I can’t help but argue with them in the hopes that they come to their senses and see the other side of the issue. The primary reason for doing this is because I have hope that, even though they have fallen down a specific pipeline of thought, they are still able to take in new information and think critically about these issues. For many people, the information they need to better understand these issues is either not in the media they regularly consume or not packaged in a way they can effectively digest it. Since I know both these individuals and the topics well, I feel like I am in the perfect position to work with them.

For some of my relatives, I know that I will not be able to change their minds completely. I know that their patterns of thought and their worldview is too deeply ingrained to be changed, so I adjust my goals accordingly. Instead of attempting to change their mind on these issues, I only strive to expose them to another perspective. By giving them an alternative view, I am breaking the hegemony of the views that they are being fed in their own media echo chambers. It is incredibly easy in this digital age to see the same people and the same talking points day in and day out. These talking points become your truth when you are isolated from opposing perspectives. Even if what I say to refute this “truth” cannot change their mind, it might cause them to be a little more critical of what they are consuming. Additionally, it might keep them from becoming more polarized than they already are. You are giving them an outlet and an opportunity to talk about these issues with people outside of their echo chamber. Without people in real life to talk with about these topics, they find communities online that serve to increase their radicalization. I really believe that we, as family members or friends, are in a unique position to help them grow.

For many, this task is not worth it as it can take too much effort and even sacrifice your peace of mind to involve yourself in this way. The holidays are supposed to be a time to rest and relax, a time to escape the problems surrounding us and enjoy being with the people you love around you. I still believe, though, that you should at least try to work with your relatives to help them become more informed and understanding people. Discussion about politics and world events with relatives does not have to feel combative, even when you disagree. While it may be slightly uncomfortable to engage with those who disagree with you, it is worth it if you feel that you are influencing someone you care about positively.