When I was little, I loved to play dress up. I combined all the garments with the most sparkles and feathers to create the fanciest look I could. My mom often joked that I was like the children’s book character “Fancy Nancy.”
There is a popular sound bite on social media that says “I don’t dress for men. I dress for all the little girls who were told life is not a fashion show.” Those of us who have had Pinterest boards of wedding gowns since we were eight, who layer necklaces and rings and who learned how to braid hair and never looked back, have heard “What are you so dressed up for? This is not a fashion show,” at least once in our lives. The infantilization and delegitimization of stereotypically feminine interests is something many women experience every day.
Since I take pride in how I dress, I often spend a lot of time formulating outfits rather than just wearing clothes. Because of the time I take to get ready, I am sometimes judged and looked down upon. Intellectualists may view picking out an outfit and accessories as a waste of time. I view it as my morning ritual.
STEM-related and other intellectual interests that require great skill have been contrasted with so-called “girly” interests to discredit them. Color theory, proportion, harmony and precision are complex, nuanced concepts. It takes incredible dexterity and skill to create the designs so many women wear. Learning how cuts, silhouettes, colors, textures and shapes all work together to create a cohesive look is a science. Understanding how to put those garments together is a true art.
Sewing is a difficult, frustrating and grueling task. I have wanted to give up a few times, shedding tears over every seam I have had to rip out and redo. But I wipe my tears, re-pin and re-sew until I get it right. I was taught to persevere by two incredible women who have been sewing all their lives. Women truly do create magic with fabric.
Men’s hobbies are not viewed so harshly. You want to spend hours building the Millennium Falcon out of Legos? Great! That will develop engineering and architectural skills. Playing pretend with fantasy football is acceptable, but playing pretend with makeup and dolls is frivolous. Sports are not viewed as superfluous in the same way.
Societally, feminine interests are tied to vanity, emotion and excess. Watching women fall in love in beautiful dresses is one of my favorite pastimes – whether it be in a Jane Austen novel, the “Bridgerton” series, fantasies filled with princesses getting twirled in marble halls or “The Sound of Music.” My love for artists like Taylor Swift and the joy I find in decoding her song lyrics, analyzing her fashion moments and scream-singing in the car does not detract from my intelligence. In society, soft femininity is judged to be weak.
Hobbies and pastimes that directly alter the state of the world such as politics, medicine and technology are seen as superior to the humanities. Analysis and reflection upon our world are just as important as furthering it. Fashion and art, beyond being beautiful, are vessels of communication. The revenge dress worn by the late Diana, Princess of Wales is one small example of the communicative and political powers of fashion. If we only had doctors, politicians and technology nerds, this world would be a lot less colorful. The things that survive millennia are not business models; it’s art.
It takes practice and skill to know how to fix your makeup so it doesn’t meld together on your face or look cakey. You need specific expertise to weave the chemistry of products with water bases, oil bases and powders together for a seamless makeup look. Constructing updo hairstyles requires knowledge of physics, particularly the more intricate styles that look like they were sewn.
The idea that the arts make life worth living is not a new concept. This is widely accepted when it comes to male-dominated art forms, but when a woman paints in pastels, her love of sparkle is used to delegitimize her place in a field she has every right to be in.
Just because something is beautiful does not mean it did not take years of study and skill-building to create it.
