My first week at college, I remember getting into an elevator and seeing a blonde-haired girl wearing grey headphones and a Taylor Swift t-shirt. I thought, “I could be friends with her.”
I struggled the first few weeks to make connections with people other than my roommate. I’ve never really been one to just start a conversation with a stranger. I attended all the social events during Welcome Week, but no conversation really stuck (which is ironic because I became close with most of the people I had met but just later during the spring semester). I was in a new state missing my cousin who went to school in Texas. I didn’t talk to the elevator girl that day – and I regret it.
My roommate ended up meeting a group of girls, but I barely saw them because I was going back and forth between home and school every weekend. I learned very quickly that college weekends are essential to make connections.
One Wednesday, I went to study with this group and, low and behold, who was sitting at the table? Elevator girl. At this point, she was a celebrity to me so I was nervous to really say anything. I sat quietly and did my work.
Towards the end of the semester, my roommate became good friends with “elevator girl” and another friend; they slept over on the weekends and would study together in my dorm. Still, I wasn’t close with them, but I was slowly coming out of my shell.
When we came back from winter break, I suggested the four of us move in together because my original dorm was difficult to live in comfortably due to heating and space issues, and I knew my roommate loved her trio. Shockingly, everyone agreed and within a week, we called each other roommates.
Simply living together made us so much closer than ever before. It’s hard not to connect with each other when we are the first ones who see each other when we wake up and the last ones to see each other before we fall asleep.
My dorm feels like home. We watch movies together, have dinners and laugh until we cry – like a family. It’s hard to put how much these girls mean to me in words. When I complain for hours on end, they simply sit and listen, giving advice and commenting where they can. It’s such a change to have friends to meet up with for lunch or dinner after classes instead of going back to my dorm to do homework, like I was doing the semester before.
A college friendship is so different from a high school friendship. Instead of complaining about catty and impersonal issues, my friend group is connecting by discussing adult problems such as health, jobs and relationships. There’s no passive aggressiveness, everything is laid out on a silver platter; if you’re acting crazy, you’re going to be told to calm down.
As an adult now in the “adult-world,” I experienced a ton of personal growth just by coming to school. Experiencing this new chapter with others at the same level as me is powerful. We are all learning and growing together.
With my first year coming to an end, I’m not sure how I will be able to leave my friends for three months. The thought of leaving them feels like starting a long-distance relationship.
Even though I started studying a lot less this semester, my mental health has gotten a lot better thanks to just one connection. My 4.0 grade point average may be gone because I’m talking instead of studying, but it’s so worth the loss.
