By Holly Hox Forget Me Knots

On Oct. 2, The New York Times ran an article that included a study at Michigan State University on friends with benefits. The results showed that 60 percent of 125 university students surveyed admitted to having a friend with benefits (F.W.B.) at one time or another.

Using this sample, that’s three of five college students who have no-strings-attached hook-ups. That’s a huge number if you think about it-maybe the kids are really horny in Michigan.

I don’t know if I have been in a situation that would rank as being an official F.W.B. I’ve had my fair share of hook-ups, but nothing where the hooking up was consistent.

My question is: What if you don’t find yourself benefiting from your F.W.B.? What if it only causes problems? Bedroom behavior isn’t exactly the kind of drama you want to be sharing with your mama.

Here’s my example of bummer benefits: one time, soon after a breakup, I found myself sleeping with a good friend. We had been friends for over a year, and we were very close. I guess the sexual tension was building up without us realizing it, and everything just happened. The benefits part was okay, but definitely not the best. We never slept together or even hooked up again for that matter. It left me wondering if my decision to put a halt on the F.W.B. had to do with, 1., not wanting to take our friendship in that direction, or, 2., the effect of being a little disappointed with the benefits part.

Another question I have is how long should the F.W.B. situation last? Is there a time frame that deciphers a true-blue F.W.B. from a relationship? I mean, wouldn’t it be awkward after a while for both of you? To go from being good friends, who maybe like going to the gym together and casual dinner outings, to becoming freaks between the sheets?

Also, does it still count as a booty call when your F.W.B. calls you up late at night for some lovin’? Before you crossed into F.W.B., a late-night call would mean nothing except that he or she wanted to talk/hang out. And now hang out has a different meaning-let it all hang out! Normally with a person you just met, a booty call would be almost insulting. Shouldn’t a booty call from a F.W.B. come off as less insulting?

I guess to me, an F.W.B. is one of those things that sounds much better than it actually is-like a sugar-free, nonfat caramel macchiato, or high-waist, wide-leg pants.

My advice to you is plain and simple: If you are trying to have an F.W.B., make sure you lay down some guidelines. Are there rules about dating other people, and, if a relationship starts with another person, are you both okay with ending the F.W.B.? Remember how Jerry and Elaine on “Seinfeld” turned out: It seemed like a genius idea to have no-strings-attached sex, but it ended up complicating things.

Just remember:

Nothing comes free in this world.