By Anna Aphrodesia
From online dating services to Facebook’s “poking,” the idea of intimacy has reached a new level of uncharted territory. While it certainly has its benefits, technology seems to be doing a disservice to our relationships.
In the world of Facebook and instant and text messaging, is intimacy extinct or is it now some unattainable ideal?
Like many students, I suffer from an addiction to Facebook. I constantly check to see my friends’ updates and pictures. It is a great way to stay connected with everyone.
But, when it comes to relationships and crushes, Facebook can be toxic.
I can’t tell you how many times my friends who are in relationships fight over Facebook wall posts. While you can’t control what other people write on your wall, Facebook can easily ignite a person’s jealousy. I supposed that’s the price you pay when you advertise your relationship on Facebook.
When it comes to crushes, Facebook can definitely be a deal-breaker.
At the beginning of the semester, I found myself intrigued by a really attractive guy in one of my classes. He friended me on Facebook, which I thought was a good sign. But the “Hey beautiful, how u doing” message in my inbox ruined it for me.
The same holds true with the Facebook poke. If you are curious about someone, you can give him or her a friendly poke. (I am glad there is now the option of the Facebook slap.) But, in all seriousness, the first time a guy tries to talk or even flirt with you, it should be face to face.
Instant messaging is no exception to this rule. Although you may be talking directly to another person, an IM is certainly no substitute for an in-person conversation. With the delayed reaction time, people have the luxury of calculating exactly what they want to say, which doesn’t let you know how they really feel.
Away messages pose a similar problem, particularly when people flatter themselves by assuming that it is directed toward them. Sometimes, a song is simply a song. But, other times, rather than facing issues, we put up away messages to express our feelings.
For some of us, the away message is a great method to let everyone know how you feel, particularly a crush or a significant other. But, how can you maintain a healthy relationship with anyone without face-to-face communication?
The same holds true for texting. Rather than calling, some people opt for texting. Don’t get me wrong, I love receiving flirty texts throughout the day, but some guys can take this a step too far.
Lately I have been talking with this guy that I find very intriguing. I will even confess to having a crush on him, but recently he revealed an entirely different side of himself. In person, he is somewhat shy, but very attentive. He then started sending me these brazenly forward texts-writing things that I can’t even imagine him repeating in person. Needless to say, my crush ended right then and there.
Technology, it seems, is a double-edged sword. Online and in texts, we can be anyone we want to be. But, when the image we project is not who we are in person, it is an issue.
Intimacy still exists, but now it is much more difficult to find, because it’s hard to truly know a person in the age of technology.
We are so used to the immediate gratification of finding out how people feel right away. Sometimes, it’s the simplicity of a phone call or even a surprise visit that is so much more rewarding.
