By Holly Hox Forget Me Knots
Deal breakers. You know what I’m talking about-those issues that you find in a person that are just not okay. I use the word “issues,” because sometimes once I smell it, I can’t ignore it. Plus, deal breakers have that lingering effect like dirty pants on a hot summer subway. And we all know that that is not okay.
My most recent date was this past summer with a really nice guy who pretty much chased me down. He wasn’t a stalker, but it was definitely flattering.
The deal breaker was that he has the same name as my dad. I know-what’s in a name? But imagine making out with someone who has the same name as one of your parents. Get the picture now?
Not only was the dude guilty by association, but he also had poor table manners and his breath had something funky going on.
We didn’t go for a second date.
So with this in mind and being new to the single life, I’ve searched deep into the depths of my dating soul to retrieve the kinds of issues that cause me to turn the cheek.
1. Obviously, manners. I’m not looking for a Jane Austen-style move like throwing your Club Monaco blazer over a puddle for me. It’s more about being nice to our server at dinner or not chewing with your mouth wide open.
2. A Harry Homeboy. If he’s a couch potato or thinks that it’s okay to spend all of our nights in, then it’ll just be him and his hand tonight.
3. Who’s a boozer? You’s a boozer! If a dude is obliterated every night of the week, I’m over it. I won’t joke on alcoholism, but if a guy can only have fun once a few drinks are in him, that’s a problem.
4. Angry at life. Who put the Icy Hot in your boxer briefs, Buddy? If he can’t take a joke or has a negative outlook on life, he can mosey his way out the door and down to Anti Alley-without me.
5. Afraid of fitness? Not every guy can hit the gym with his creatine seven days a week. But if a guy doesn’t bother enough to take care of his body, how will I know he’ll take care of mine?
With those said, I asked other University students what they viewed as huge deal breakers.
“It comes down to personality,” said Jonathan, 21. “You can look amazing, but if you can’t hold a conversation or take a joke, then what’s the point? It just makes things miserable.”
For Dana, 19, a deal breaker would include a smoker or a guy who didn’t support her career.
“Someone who’s unreliable,” said Samantha, 21. “I hate when a person always breaks plans.”
Billy, 21, said, “She can’t be stuck up or rude to others. If she has the attitude that she’s on top of the world, that’s bad, and if she’s fake-I’d hate that too.”
“I can’t stand to be around an apathetic person,” said Mike, 22. “For example, if they said that they didn’t care about the environment.”
“Since I want to go somewhere with my life, someone with no ambition is a deal breaker for me,” said Kate, 21. “In a relationship, we should push each other. Without that drive, it won’t happen.”
Think to yourself and figure out if there are any extreme issues that a person can commit and pose a red flag to you. Does she talk about herself too much? Does he only communicate with you via text? Is she way too friendly on other people’s Facebook walls?
Regardless of how petty it may be, hold it true to yourself. You shouldn’t have to jeopardize a good time because you happen to be sitting across from The Breath of Death. Do yourself a favor-throw an Altoids tin on the table and call for the check.
There’s always more fish in the sea.
