By Emily Rivard
Many guys think they can pick up any woman, anytime, anywhere. At college campuses, bars, malls, even at the gym, that suave looking guy is on the prowl for the perfect mate. He’ll stride in with some cheesy pick-up line and a wink, expecting only the best.
Most guys, however, don’t have it. Their awful pick-up lines and suggestive tones only aggravate the girl they are hitting on.
Some of the more successful techniques might be from the creative genius of Ross Jeffries, the “original pick-up artist.” Teacher to hundreds of lucky bachelors-including J-Dog, teacher on VH-1’s “The Pickup Artist”-Jeffries has been working with the art of ‘speed seduction’ since the late ’80s.
“I was looking for a way to solve my shyness with women,” said Jeffries, a political science graduate of UCLA and former paralegal. “I was always the best friend, never the boyfriend.”
After he developed a technique, Jeffries was hooked. “When you realize you have something powerful like this, you jump in.”
He soon realized that a study of communication called neuro-linguistic programming would solve his problem with women. “I became the ‘Frankenstein of Seduction,'” Jeffries said.
Shortly thereafter, Jeffries had launched his own Web site, SpeedSeduction.biz, wrote a book and appeared on numerous talk-shows. “It was all a goof,” he said. “It took off and I started getting fan mail.”
Unlike the typical stereotype, Jeffries doesn’t rely on cliché lines or physical attributes to attract women. Instead, he teaches his students four different vibes.
“The first one is dominance, but not domineering,” Jeffries said. “Dominant guys set a very strong lead He stresses that men must not act condescending, but rather lead the conversation and allow the woman to do “80 percent of the talking.”
“The second vibe is playfulness, bring out the kid side in a woman and make her laugh.” Jeffries describes how women find humor and independent happiness very attractive.
“The third vibe is to have a deep understanding of her world,” Jeffries said.
The last vibe is to be “authentic and vulnerable.” He explains how it is important for all men to speak their truth, regardless of the consequences. “My truth is more important than getting in her pants. If you speak the truth, it shows standards,” he said.
Jeffries explains how most men struggle with women because they have trouble combining all four vibes. Even still, about 70 percent of his clients have or have had girlfriends.
“They’re not the 40 year-old virgins. Most of my students have girlfriends, but not the quality they want,” Jeffries said. “They just stay in the relationship because they are scared that they will never find the right person.”
Although many might find the art of “speed seduction” as merely social and material, Jeffries stresses that most attraction deals with chemistry and teaches his students how to read that chemistry. “A lot of pick-up artists, like Mystery [on VH-1’s The Pickup Artist] don’t teach energy, vibes or non-verbal cues.” The students think it’s all about manipulating a woman into believing that you have a higher social value.”
Jeffries, who lives in California with his two “adorable” cats, is not the guy with the fake-macho attitude checking you out in the bar. He said his teachings are much deeper, and rely on listening to others rather than manipulating them.
Although, if he had to use a favorite cheesy pickup-line, he would ask:
“Are you Jamaican? ‘Cause Jamaican me crazy!”
(Ross Jeffries)