By Katherine Doublet
Everyone’s favorite half-shelled crime-fighting turtles are back in TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). But they are not the same reptiles that used to entertain you every Saturday morning. Throughout the course of this meticulously animated remake, it became clear that writer Kevin Munroe had never experienced how nostalgic it could be watching Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael team up under the instruction of Master Splinter. If he had, he certainly would never have reproduced the old cartoon into such an implausible and pointless feature.
With their longtime archenemy, The Shredder, gone, Leonardo (voiced by James Arnold Taylor) was sent to Central America to further improve his ninja skills and leave his past behind. If it were not for April O’Neil (Sarah Michelle Geller) seeking him out, he would never have known how desperately New York City and his brothers needed him. Donatello (Mitchell Whitfield) used his advanced skills to become a telephone operator for a technology service, Michelangelo (Mikey Kelly) became available for work at birthday parties where he disguises himself as a turtle so he can entertain little kids and Raphael (Nolan North) secretly became an aggressive vigilante at night with April’s boyfriend, Casey Jones (Chris Evans).
After agreeing to come back home to the dank sewer, Leo was welcomed back with open arms by everyone except for Raphael, who simply could not forgive Leo for abandoning the turtles when strange things were going on in the city and most importantly, within themselves.
The film quickly becomes an hour-and-a-half-long therapy session between the brothers and Splinter as opposed to devising a plan to stop several 3,000-year-old stone monsters led by Max Winters (Patrick Stewart) from demolishing the world.
Master Splinter’s words become as wise as Dr. Phil’s, there were only two scenes with pizza, and “Cowabunga!” and “dude” are said at all the wrong times. Not once will you hear them say “Turtle power!” or sing the catchy theme song. In leaving out the minor details that we loved as children that the filmmakers alienated the inner child that would have loved this film.
The edgy animation is impressive, for the most part, is used as an excuse for the few and weak combat scenes and complicated plot. Maybe the creepy rubber suits used in the previous Turtle films would have been the best choice in the end.
While die-hard fans may not approve, TMNT did rank number one for it’s opening weekend with a gross of $25,450,000. Hopefully, the next generation fans will not link this sad attempt the original comic book and witty cartoons series.
GRADE: C
