By Luba Patlakh
“Love Shouldn’t Hurt”, a phrase familiar to most students, was the title to Omega Phi Beta Sorority’s event on March 13.
The event brought in a large turnout of male and female students who came to get an education on domestic violence from Marissa Grubman, an educator from the Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Grubman, a former crisis counselor, spoke to students about the differences between the various forms of domestic violence and told students “this is not just a women’s issue. Both men and women are held accountable in this world.”
“People who abuse other people have learned it from the environment which they have been brought up in,” Grubman said. “They feel that they can only get control by controlling someone else.”
Based on facts from the Journal of Contemporary Justice, 21 percent of college students report they have experienced dating violence by a current partner and 32 percent report dating violence by a previous partner. “The majority of victims are female’s between the ages of 16 to 24,” Grubman said. Students who are in an abusive relationship are usually isolated from their friends and support so that the abuser can take full control.
“The largest misconception students have is that domestic violence is only sexual or physical, but really it can be a lot of things,” Grubman said. The speaker told the students about her first encounter with domestic violence, which occurred in college. She said it is important for students to always watch out for their friends, and if they spot any sign of abuse, they should try and explain to the abuser that what they are doing needs to stop.
“New York State does not enforce many laws that protect victims of domestic violence,” Grubman said, adding that the state is not doing enough and she wants to fight for more protection and help.
“One girl told me that she was a victim of abuse and was beat up by her boyfriend, the police were called and the boyfriend got arrested for the night, just one night,” she said.
A student raised his hand and told Grubman he was locked up for six months for stealing a bag of shrimp. “This is exactly what I am talking about,” Grubman said. “Nothing is being done to protect victims, and even when it is, it is not enough.”
The CADV is a great place for victims to go if they need help or want to escape abuse. The center offers an assault hotline, an emergency room, crisis counseling, information, referrals to other qualified professionals and a safe house in case the abused need to hide away until safety can be found elsewhere. “There are signs and red flags that people do not want to see and are in denial of when they are in an abusive relationship,” said Grubman. “We need to stand up and do something about this; we need to hold each other accountable.”