By Compiled by Jillian Sorgini

Walking towards Student Center:Guy: I’m not the crotch-grabber, I get crotch-grabbed.

In Hammer Lab:Girl: What’s Obama’s last name?Guy: Are you serious?

In class:Professor: And that is why Wendy’s has competitive advantage over McDonald’s.Girl: No way! Wendy’s doesn’t have the Big Mac!Boy: Mmm…special sauce.

In class:Professor to class: Has anyone ever had an intimate moment with potato chips?Student: Are you counting Doritos? Because then, yes, oh, yes!

On the 13th floor of Constitution:Guy: Back at home, people pee on me all the time.

In the bookstore:Guy: John Mayer must have crabs by now.

Bathroom of Hofstra USA:Girl 1: Oh my God, this is weird, I feel like I am sneaking into Hofstra. I feel like I go to Adelphi and I’m sneaking into Hofstra.Girl 2: Why? Are you wearing an Adelphi hoodie or something?Girl 1: No, just ’cause.

In the Student Center: Girl 1: So I’m pretty sure some of my students are hitting on me. Ugh.Girl 2: Guys, I hope.

In response to hearing about a Russian Storm Trooper Halloween costume:Guy: So are you gonna be line a “Star Wars” character with a Russian accent or like a Bolshevik?

Around campus:Dad to son: Ugh, the tuition at Hofstra is killing me!Son: I thought Mom was doing that?

In Student Center:Girl: Emily, I have an ejaculation apparatus.

Outside Student Center:Girl 1: Guess what I did last night?Girl 2: Who?Girl 1: Joe.