By Cassie Cumming
As the religious Cosmopolitan reader that I am, I recently stumbled upon one of the magazine’s hundreds of conversation starters that I’d like to share with you. Listed as “Conversation starter #339,” it states this: New York has the kinkiest women, according to a new survey for OKCupid, an online dating site.
Now, this statement really struck me, not because I feel it isn’t accurate (women aren’t really my thing), but because many of my female friends come off as the complete opposite of being a kinky woman. I, for one, do not consider myself to fall into the category of “kinkiest woman.” I mean sure I can be a “freak in the sheets,” but kinky? Hmmm….not so much. But as I sit here thinking about it, is there really a distinction between the two?
Well, kinky, according to dictionary.com is something which is marked by unconventional preferences or behavior, such as a fetish or sadomasochism. And since there is no dictionary definition for “freak,” I’ll just tell you what I think. I say a freak is everything a kinky person is, minus having a thing for fetishes and not being one who likes to be choked or any other odd things that pop up. But I’d say the freak enjoys the hair pulling every now and again and even enjoys that occasional rough grab. The freak in me though, is not one who enjoys the idea of being handcuffed or other such random acts, it’s such a no-no.
Moving forward…I begin to disagree with the statement as I ponder on past affairs. How is it that women are the kinkiest, yet the men in New York seem to be the most promiscuous? Truth be told, many women of this century have set new records for the gender, but it’s still the men who sleep around more frequently and with a greater number of partners.
So if New York women are the kinkiest, where does this leave the men of New York? According to that same survey from OKCupid, the kinkiest men can be found in Florida. So how exactly does one make this work? I mean being a kinky woman in New York, would you not want a kinky man, too? Does this mean heading down to Florida to find your match? I think not! New York men may be just as kinky as those in Florida, but unwilling to admit to it.
After speaking to a few of my wonderful boy-friends, it was clear. They deny being kinky or hide because they feel it isn’t a “manly” trait. But deep down, they know they’re just as kinky as can be and hope to find that one woman they could actually be comfortable to share that side with.
So, to all my kinky New York ladies, trust when I say your match is out there. But wait, where does this leave the rest of us?!?!! No worries, I’ll find out for us soon enough.