By Sara Kay

Sex is more than just an action between a man and a woman. Or a man and a man. Or a woman and a woman. You get the idea.

After meeting enough guys in college to finally understand the bigger picture, I’ve come to realize that sex is anything but romantic anymore. It’s not something precious that two people can share, or a way to get to know someone you truly care about. Save that crap for a Meg Ryan movie.

Sex is all about politics, plain and simple.

When we enter the na’ve age of (insert appropriate age here), when sex and love are all that run through our minds, we think that the two go hand in hand. In order to be in love, you need to have sex, and in order to have sex with someone, you should be in love.

In the words of the elusive Oscar Mayer, baloney. There’s nothing romantic about sex during college. After high school, sex can go from being a passionate evening to a drunken mistake. What makes it even worse is that the act of sex is so political, people start to forget the good things about the person they’re sleeping with-if there are any, that is.

You may be asking yourself, “What does she mean, sex is political?” Well, it’s quite simple.

Politics are our views and actions based on materialistic ideals. You can learn a lot about somebody by asking them what their political views are. For example, people who are pro-life aren’t just pro-life because they believe killing is wrong; they just can’t picture themselves being put on trial for killing an unborn child. Politics are personal and self-centered. People pick and choose their lovers based on so many political factors that have absolutely nothing to do with romance. Does he have a good eye color? Was she an acceptable beer pong partner? If we have kids, will they be attractive based on our looks? Are his pants designer? Does he go tanning, and if so, does that mean that he’s possibly gay?

And what about people who base their sexual preferences on political party affiliation? “I won’t sleep with him because he’s a Republican.” That’s just crap. It almost seems like people assume that during sex, their partner will begin to blurt out their views on tax cuts and abortion. Unless, of course, you’re participating in some orgy on the White House lawn accompanied by Bill Clinton (he wouldn’t miss it for the world) and Larry Craig (he’s not gay! He said so himself!), I doubt that would ever even happen. But then again, I never thought I would see a man who could have played poker with Jesus on the Republican ticket. Touché, America, touché.

I’ve come to notice that sex actually scares people. Not just sex, but the thought that the act could turn into something more. A relationship, perhaps? Maybe not even a relationship, maybe just something of substance. College romance is almost like an oxymoron at this point, turning me from a romantic into a cynic.

In college, when the scene is mostly alcohol-induced make-out sessions at the bar, a relationship seems far-fetched and even stupid. Some people find solace in a mate they can call their one and only, while others only get physical with somebody after chugging a bottle of Cuervo. Why does the act of having sex have to be so political, so as to assume that your partner is already calling the U-haul truck before dinner is even over? Where’s the romance in that?

Unfortunately, without even noticing, we are all victims of political sex. Some people want to have sex with someone they love, but everybody wants to have sex with someone who can provide them with some sort of gain. For example, a mediocre-looking girl is totally mackin’ on you because you’re a really good looking guy on the (insert varsity sports team with national recognition here). The key words in this are “good looking” and the fact that you have a popular affiliation with something. Did you notice the words, “personality,” “charm,” or “intellect” in there at all? No. Nobody cares if you’re witty and funny, they care if you have a national championship trophy on your shelf. That, readers, is political sex.

Sex is political. And sometimes, let’s be honest, politics can be sexy. But as adults, we can’t let politics get the best of our sex lives. So next time you meet someone at a party or a bar, dig deeper inside yourself and try to notice that person for who they really are and what they have to say. And if after all that, he or she is still a complete moron, give them a second chance. Even a complete idiot can seem acceptable after a few tequilas.

Sara Kay is a junior print journalism student. You may e-mail her at [email protected].