By Anna Aprhrodesia
While some of us look forward to basking in the summer sun and the endless possibilities of summer flings, some of us crave something more substantial. Sure, flings are nice at first, but how long can it be all fun and games?
There comes a point in our lives where the ambiguity of seriously dating someone becomes too much to bear. When the first couple of dates seem like ancient history and you establish exclusivity, when is it safe to use the term boyfriend or girlfriend?
Titles are a tricky subject, but one that must be broached at some point. I mean, how long can you introduce someone as: “This is my friend [insert name here]”? Not to mention the knowing smiles from your friends that follow and even the dreaded “Oh, I’ve heard so much about you” line.
When it comes to titles, typically it’s not that person you’re dating that pesters you for one, but more often than not, it’s your friends. Many people I know seem to posses a deep-seeded desire to categorize or classify everything. On the upside, I suppose this helps in determining how much time your friends have to get to know him. If it’s nothing more than a hookup, then they don’t need to invest as much time as they would a boyfriend. But, even this logic doesn’t really justify the need for titles.
“If it’s not on Facebook, then it’s not official,” one of my friends said. But, what’s so great about being official? Sure, it let’s other people know you’re off the dating market, but what are the other benefits?
I know a few couples who have been happily (and unofficially) together for upwards of six months or more. They have their own problems and get into disagreements, like any official couple would, but the title or lack thereof is never the problem for them. These are the couples that just fit together. There was no asking, “Will you be my girlfriend?” or vice versa. They know they work and don’t want to complicate a simple situation with something as trivial as a title.
Sometimes, you simply don’t need the title. A title won’t stop your partner from cheating. In fact, it may serve to make him or her more appealing, seeing that people want what they can’t have. A title also does not guarantee happiness or make a relationship better. It seems that titles are more for other people outside the relationship than the two actually in it. They are merely a validation for other people.
Having someone to call your boyfriend or girlfriend is just for show. What lies at the heart of most relationships aren’t titles, but the stuff that’s far simpler. It’s not even about the words you say or don’t say, but more about the things you do. It’s everything that goes on behind closed doors and that’s better than any title.