By Ryan Broderick
Hang on to your training bras 16-year-old girls, Forever The Sickest Kids have just released a full-length. “Underdog Alma Mater” is the band’s first, real major-studio effort and it’s packed full of redone versions of old demos and brand new tracks. For those of you self-respecting enough not to-or too ashamed to admit-you know about these guys, Forever The Sickest Kids are Alternative Press cover-sluts and a myspace image band that in the recent months has snowballed into a prominent act at most emo and pop punk music festivals.
“Underdog Alma Mater” as an album is poppy enough to make your teeth fall out and make your eyes water. Every song is full of cutesy piano breakdowns, acoustic guitar flourishes and faux-pop punk riffs that would make New Found Glory look like Hatebreed.
Their first EP, “Television Off, Party On,” is only notable because it spawned a massive Internet clusterf*** of Garageband-produced emo/techno bands in the wake of the EP’s success. It had dancey synth and autotuner throughout, and both elements of their sound have faded into the background on their full length.
Their 12-song Hot Topic, moneymaking scheme of a record is energetic and not much else. Fewer than three songs in it are anything but subtle, implying that they made this strictly to make money and pick up chicks. How emo lyrics ever warped into a frank discussion of how cool you are is mind-boggling.
The band’s sound is almost completely carried by image and over-production and trying to listen for even small traces of a real band underneath the gleam is an impossible feat. Each one of the six members does very little, and guitarists Marc Stewart and Caleb Turmen really seem to have mastered playing punchy four chord pop riffs that kick in right when singer Jonathon Cook says something cute about hugging or being young forever or some garbage.
If you like Forever The Sickest Kids, you like Hellogoodbye, or you met a cute scenester girl at the mall and want to hook up with her; maybe you think My Chemical Romance is too metal; whatever your reasons, it’s okay because what “Underdog Alma Mater” lacks as far as musical integrity or genuine song construction it makes up for it in catchy tunes and because of that it’ll be popular and then it’ll fade away into a bargain bin of “Warped Tour Compilation CDs.” So if the feeling so suits, straighten your hair, put on some big sunglasses, and pick up their CD. You’ll know where it is in the store by looking for the guy already there buying it that’s dressed like you.
Forever The Sickest Kids’ new full length tries to prove they’re more than just hair cuts and tight pants. (trig.com)