By Jillian Sorgini
In class:Professor speaking about Bush and Clinton: There is a difference between weapons of mass destruction and a blow job.
Bits ‘n’ Bytes:Girl: Sometimes I think to myself, I’m never going to drink again. You know what? That’s a lie.
In class:Student: Television is accessible to everyone-even terrorists.In class:Girl speaking about Sept. 11: Thousands of millions of people died.
In residence hall:Girl: You know, maybe I shouldn’t let guys buy me tequila shots anymore. It was that fifth shot that got me.
In class:Professor: The Patriot Act is like the CIA’s wet dream.
In student center:Girl (ordering chicken francese): Can I have some chicken Francy, please?
Around campus:Girl: Osama bin Laden could go on YouTube and upload a video if they won’t broadcast it on TV!
Around campus:Girl: If Hugh Hefner says get a boob job, then DAMN GIRL, get a boob job! On California Ave: Student: Look at all the police barricades! Someone must have had a block party! At a bar:Bouncer: This ID isn’t real! It says you were born in 2013!Girl: Yes. I come from the future. My people do not wish to harm you. Around campus:Guy: Do they make male diaphragms? Around campus:Guy: How do you break a vagina?Girl: I don’t know. Ask Frida Kahlo. Around campus:Guy: Call me Wes Craven.Girl: Is that who wrote Goosebumps? Around campus:Guy: It’s impossible to get a drink here! Who’s bartending? Helen Keller? In the Chronicle office:Girl: I am so pissed off…Wait, what was I mad about?
In the Rec. Center:Guy: This guy is everything I aspire to be. He’s an amazing dancer, he can sing and…ridiculously…not…unattractive.Girl: So basically you are saying he is drop-dead sexy.Guy: Umm, yeah.