By Jillian Sorgini

In the bathroom:Girl: My toilet just flushed while I was peeing. That’s so mean.

Around campus:Guy: All I had to eat today is Adderrall.

In Dempster Hall:Professor: So I hear they’re making us switch the DVDs to Blue Ray.Girl: They’re changing the color?!

In a Tuesday/Thursday class:Girl #1: Aren’t you excited that tomorrow is Thursday?Girl #2: Today’s Thursday.Girl #1: What?Girl #2: Today is Thursday.Girl #1: Really? Wow, I have really got to stop smoking so much weed.Girl #2: Yeah, there go the brain cells.Girl #1: Wait, is it really?

In class:Professor: It’s like pot. Do you still call it that?Student: Yes.Professor: Good. At least some things never change.

In class:Guy talking about young girls having sex: Where were these girls when I was 14?!

In class:Guy #1: For every guy that has sex, there has to be a girl who has sex.Guy #2: Not necessarily.

In class:Professor: This is the thing with prostitutes-they’re replaceable.

In dorm:Girl: I’m leaving the door open. Don’t masturbate.

By Pura Vida:Girl #1: I’m going to study in Paris this summer.Girl #2: Ooh! Bring me back a France boy from French.

In class:Professor: The only free and pleasurable thing left in life is sex.Guy: And that’s not always free.

Around campus:Girl: Wow. He is totally unfortunate looking.

Around campus:Girl #1: I didn’t shower today.Girl #2: I showered because I smelled of Dizzy’s….and sin.

Around campus:A very skinny sorority girl wearing leggings, Uggs and her sorority jacket: Oh my God, I’m so cold!Random guy walking by: That’s because you’re 2 percent body fat and don’t know what pants are. On a bus to Washington, D.C.:Girl: I haven an invisible friend.

On bus to Washington, D.C.:Girl: What’s sad is when you start a conversation with someone and you realize that they’re a mannequin.