By Jillian Sorgini
Around campus:You could never be a lesbian.
In an elevator:Guy: It’s 2 a.m. What you gonna f***ing lose your virginity to her tonight? No, f**k that!
In The Chronicle Office:If you want to drink vodka, Britney’s album Blackout is the way to go.
At the Student Center:Elderly man: People are always asking me, “What are you doing here?”
In class:Professor: Lots of people like hookers. That’s why there’s so many of them.
In The Chronicle Office:Guy: So uh guys, I just fell up the stairs.
Around campus:Girl #1: You don’t like giving head?Girl #2: No, I don’t even like lollipops.
In The Chronicle Office:Guy, repeating a story: I’m not taking this to the cops, but it’s going on the Internet.
Around campus:I’m allergic to corduroy.