This week’s column was all overheard in The Chronicle office.
Girl: I don’t like when the windows are rolled down.Guy: You would not make a very good dog.
Girl: I’m feeling awkward about my love life, and the only solution I see is to drink vodka and grind up on strange men.
Girl: Every time I update my Facebook profile I feel like I grow as a person.
Girl #1: Do you have tape?Girl #2: I have porn.
Girl: I don’t know why we say the word whore so much in my house.Guy: I could take a guess.
Girl: I got caught having sex by a cop.
Girl: Someone f***ing de-friended me on Facebook. All I know is that I woke up this morning, and I had 274 friends-and by lunch I had one less!
Girl: American Crew? Is that like J. Crew for hair?
Guy: How’s a woman gonna win Texas?
Guy: I’m not wearing underpants.Girl: He was breathing so heavy and I just wanted it to stop. But like you can’t ask a person to stop breathing.
Guy: I haven’t lived til I sh*t myself.
Girl: Seeing Posh Spice was like seeing God.
Girl: I had a whole family of Weiners in my high school.
Girl #1: I think I forgot to brush my teeth today.Guy: That is foul!Girl #1: Hey, I only slept for three hours.Girl #2: I did too and I still brushed my fangs!More to come next week…