By Tejal Patel

Girl in Bits’N’ Bytes:Well, I know I want to die drunk.

Girl on campus:I think I was a skank in a previous life.

Boy on unispan:Ever since I went to community college, I’ve done good grades.

Girl on campus:I don’t want to spam 20 people, I just want to know what f****** Disney princess I am.

In class:Professor: When I go before the judge, what am I looking for to make me feel complete?Girl: Like, Vicodin.In a residence hall:What time is your 11 o’clock class?

On campus:Girl #1: They should have movie restaurants. You know, restaurants where they play movies in the background.Girl #2: Um, they’re called bars.

Girl on campus:Is the tree, broken? Girl on campus:I’m wearing pants, this is weird.

In residence hall:Boy reading emergency sign: You are here.Boy: How do they know?

Girl in elevator:I wonder if that’s the sex stench.

Girl on campus:Being in the same room as two people having sex is really gross. Especially because the guy was like Darth Vader meets Star Wars meets Ninja Turtles.

In the omelet line:Lackmann employee: Want cheese on this?Girl: Uh, American? I think that’s the one It’s American Cheese right?