By By Mia
Dear Mia,
I’m a part of a campus organization. Naturally, I spend a lot of time with my general body members. Unfortunately for me, there are two girls within it that are connected to me in a way. One, Julia*, is an old interest of mine. We had our little “situation” when I was a freshman three years ago, but it never blossomed into what it should’ve due to internal issues. We split in a very ugly fashion. Unfortunately she still spends a majority of her time flirting with me and constantly bringing up what once was. It’s awkward and other members are taking notice. The other girl, Ariana*, is one of those members. I’m interested in her, but she constantly brings up Julia. She teases me about it. “Go back to your girlfriend” or “I don’t want your girlfriend to be mad at me” are constantly coming out of her mouth. There’s nothing I can do to run away from my past, but it is what it is. In short, how can I get Julia to go away for good, and get Ariana to see me in the light I prefer?
Thanks,
Ron*
Hi Ron,
Communication is key in situations like this. You’re going to have to be firm and let both girls know how you feel about them. If you haven’t yet, I suggest that you sit Julia down and explain to her that what you once had is in fact over for good. Secondly, have a conversation with Ariana. Let her know that you don’t have feelings for Julia anymore, and that her jokes about your “girlfriend” aren’t very funny. While you can’t force someone to take you seriously, it is important to let her know that you are serious when you say that it is over between you and Julia.
Also, keep in mind that some people use comments such as “go back to your girlfriend” simply to gauge your reaction to them. Part of the problem could be that Ariana simply wants to know where she stands with you.
Good luck with those conversations!
xoxo
Mia
Dear Mia,
For the past few weeks I have been trying to get my roommate to understand me and be reasonable. I simply want her to respect my space and learn to compromise, but no matter how many times I speak on the issues or leave simple and noticeable hints they go ignored… What should I do?
Yours Truly,
Frustrated
Hello Frustrated,
I need to know exactly what you’ve told her to suggest more things that might work. Perhaps what you consider compromise, she sees as you being unreasonable. Miscommunication isn’t an uncommon problem in roommate situations, so make sure that you’re really listening to her.
If the problem persists, I suggest that you go to your RA and tell them what’s going on. The two of you may need a mediator. It isn’t fair to either of you to go through the entire semester feeling uncomfortable in a place you’re supposed to be able to call home.
xoxo
Mia
Dear Mia,
There’s a guy I really like in one of my classes. We sit next to each other every day, and talk all the time. There’s been lots of smiling and eye contact for the past few weeks, but I think he’s unsure about whether I want him to ask me out or not. I’ve got his phone number and all that, but I want to ask: what are some things I can do to let him know I’d like to get a little closer?
Sincerely,
Sara
Hi Sara,
Seeing as how you guys seem to have already been flirting a bit, I’d have to say that it’s probably time for you to do something a little more straightforward. Invite him to go somewhere with you, such as to a movie or on a walk. Even if you only invite him to eat with you in the cafeteria one night, asking for one-on-one time is always a good place to start. It lets him know that you’d like to start getting to know him outside of class.
xoxo
Mia
*Name has been changed to protect the person’s identity.