By Ryan Broderick
Yo, so have you seen a Nicolas Cage movie lately? The man’s out of his f*****g mind. “Wicker Man”? “Bangkok Dangerous”? “Next”? What?! It has also become popular internet fodder to talk about how completely bat s**t insane Nicolas Cage is. I mean, let me paint you a picture: Nicolas Cage, in an oversided cowboy hat, drinking a scalding hot cup of coffee, in a full-body leather biker suit.
That’s how he decided to introduce his character in “Ghost Rider.” Also, he wrote most of those scenes into the movie himself during pre-production. It’s like he just planted his nostrils on the coffee table, railed an unimaginable line of coke and typed whatever he felt like.
Cage’s new movie “Knowing,” is now number one in the country and beat out far better pictures like “I Love You, Man” and “Duplicity.” “Knowing” is about him knowing when natural disasters are going to happen, but here’s the thing: Nobody believes him. Aw, crazy. No way!
What is cool is that America has either sunk so far deep into a depression that they now don’t even want to feel happy anymore or they’ve finally learned what irony is.
After his slew of completely absurd movies, it’s easy to say things like “Oh, that Nicholas Cage, he sure doesn’t give a f**k anymore.” But the thing is, I’m not particularly sure you could prove he ever gave a f**k. “Con Air” was a crazy heap of crap and “Face/Off”? In “Face/Off” he utters the phrase “Face- off” in some sort of combination almost continually until the movie ends.
Whether he’s an escaped mental patient or film genius, I’m excited to see what happens with his next movie. If his cinematic failures keep making tons of money, it might change the cinematic landscape of Hollywood. Imagine a world where movies were made to laugh at and not laugh with.
Where snide, a**hole teenagers could smoke pot, go to the movie theaters and just yell mean things at an idiotic looking Cage.
And while we laugh at what a crazy d*****bag he is, he’s just sitting back counting money. What an idiot, right?