By Dani Frank and Rebecca Astheimer

Greetings, friends, foes, and family (because our moms read this). We hope everyone’s semester is going well, what with an early spring and a visit from the silver fox, Anderson Cooper, we can’t imagine what could possibly go wrong.

This week we thought we’d sound off on a topic that doesn’t really come up much-the trials and tribulations of the RSR booth.

Is it necessary? Is it effective? A nuisance? Seeing how one of us has worked as an RSR mule for over a year, we feel as if we have adequate knowledge of what goes on in and around that booth.

First question to address- is an RSR booth necessary? Some schools have lowered security levels, not employing actual human beings and require very little effort in order to enter and have guests. However, not every school is in the sparkling, pristine village of Hempstead, home of Flavor Flav, the Nassau Police Department has reported that Hempstead has some of the most dangerous streets in all of Nassau County, and one of the busiest Justice Courts in all of New York State. That’s why we love Hempstead- all the brothels and crack houses you could ever ask for.

Gathering that Hempstead is a pretty dangerous place to live, shouldn’t we have the heightened security of city schools like NYU and SVA, where there are overnight passes for guests and officials at every booth? Let’s face it: it’s pretty damn easy to get into the buildings. How often do you hold the door for someone coming through behind you? In fact, it’s generally irritating when someone lets the door slam in your face. While trying to be courteous to each other, are we actually putting our classmates at risk? Perhaps, but it’s impossible to imagine every single person passing through the entrances stopping to swipe their cards (and when stopped by Public Safety and asked to swipe, there is always the fair share of eye-rolling and heavy sighing). No one wants to go through the hassle of pulling out their IDs and signing in. It’s something none of us think of when we’re trying to juggle our Organic Grille pasta and notebooks.

But the question remains, who is walking through those doors? Who is the club promoter throwing around flyers for ‘White Trash Wednesdays!’ up and down our halls? And how the hell did a Yummy House menu wind up under our door? It wasn’t the cleaning lady. We’re friends with her, and she has better taste. She knows that Great Wall is where it’s at.

To play devil’s advocate… RSR security may not be that great, but as a rule, we (and our friends) feel generally pretty safe in the dorms. Neither of us have ever encountered a stranger curled up outside our door, and we have yet to fend off any crack addicts (but what was up with that Public Safety brief that described some guy poking his head under a girls shower curtain in Bill of Rights? Porn was made to avoid these very scenarios). Most of the Public Safety reports are generally related to student-to-student interactions, meaning it was probably that creepy hook-up from October who stole your GPS system out of your car, not the shifty employee at Stop ‘N’ Shop who told you you had nice “tatas.” (You do, by the way.)

So despite the fact it’s pretty easy to get into the residential buildings, there seem to be adequate efforts made that are preventing the majority of unsavory characters from getting in (unless they’ve already been admitted to Hofstra).

In conclusion, we know you’re going to hold the door for us when we’re walking through the doors behind you (because you’re all wonderful), but think about it next time. Propping the door while you go have a smoke isn’t exactly the safest idea, and it’s endangering an entire building of budding young minds.

Regards,

The Keebler Elves

Dani Frank is a sophomore print journalism student. You may e-mail her at [email protected]. Rebecca Astheimer is a sophomore film student. You may e-mail her at

[email protected].