Dear Dr. George:
One of my colleagues (a fellow student) has had some bad times and asked me for a loan. I loaned him $1000 eight months ago, and he has never paid me back. It is starting to affect our relationship, as I need the money now, and I feel he is taking my friendship for granted. What do I do? I need this money to pay for my school.
Signed,
REGRET FOR DEBT
Dear REGRET FOR DEBT:
Shakspeare wisely warned, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” I have known this to be a common problem in colleges and companies among “friends.” Unfortunately, it can turn out to be the end of a friendship.
There are several ways to handle this. One is you can just forgive this person of the debt, as you may not get it back anyway. That would make him and/or you feel great, and your friendship will deepen. But do not do this but once.
Another way to handle it is for you to talk to a group of friends to donate whatever they can to help their work colleague or student, based upon how “real” his hard times are. You could also encourage your friend to go to personnel for an advance on his regular pay, if he holds a part-time job.
Or you can simply say to him that you would love to help, but your budget is very tight right now, and you would suffer if you lent the money. Remind him he already owes you $1000.
This person may truly be in need of a helping hand or simply be a poor financial manager. Therefore, look around your college or company and try to find a person who can counsel him on financial problems. Urge him to sign up for a Business course teaching personal financial management. Sometimes larger companies or colleges offer such services.
In the future, do not lend any more money to someone who does not pay you back. Or just listen to Shakespeare and neither borrow from nor lend to a friend.
Dr. George Abraham is a business consultant author of “The Seven Deadly Work Sins Against the Golden Rule. He also formally served as an adjunct professor at Hofstra. Email confidential questions for advice to [email protected].