By Compiled by Emily Rivard

Around campus:

Girl 1: (During a discussion of a girl walking to Dizzy’s alone) Are you sure you’ll be okay?

Girl 2: (drunk) I’m play Rugby. I’ll beat people up.

Around campus:

Guy: Dude, this girl always prank calls Asians.

In class:

Professor: Say your Priest got an award for being Best Priest Ever-

Student 1: Oh, yeah-the Priesties!

Professor: -And then you found out he’s going to a strip club two nights a week. What would you say?

Student 2: Well, he’s just putting all the strippers through college!

Student 1: It’s only relevant if he’s taking the collection plate and putting it in someone’s thong.

Outside the Playhouse:

Old woman: I would think that getting kicked in the groin so many times would hurt someone!

At the Chinese place in the student center:

Guy: Yo, how do you pronounce that? Is it like “General Chow’s” or “General So?” ‘Cause I pronounce it “General Chow.”

Worker: “Tso.”

Guy: See? I was right.

Outside Breslin:

Girl: I will only tolerate you under the influence of caffeine or alcohol.

Outside Brower:

Girl: I wouldn’t say you have man-trums, but you are the King of Drama.

In Student Center:

Female Cashier: Oh, don’t buy that cake. The stuff at Pura Vida is fresher and tastes better.

In class:

Professor: You don’t say no when Hitler comes calling.