By Patty Kreiser

Ah! Another semester begins. We basked in the lovely fall weather and now we face the perils of the snow. We’ve faced a snowfall or two this season, and for that reason, I’m dedicating this entry to driving in the snowy weather.

But before I begin, let me say one thing: it doesn’t matter if it’s snowing or sort of icy; you cannot take up more than one space in the parking lot. The snow may have fallen, but the lines are still clearly visible. Those idiots who straddle two spots will make a lot of enemies. Also, when you drive into your parking spot, please try to stay in the lines. Nothing is worse than finding a parking spot and then not being able to fit your car in because the jerk next to you is parked practically diagonally in its spot. Please, guys; let’s be courteous. Park in one spot and make sure there’s enough room for people to park in the spots next to you.

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about driving in the snow. Well, apparently we should make our cars snow-ready. I have no idea what this means mechanically. Thus, I do my version of making my car snow-ready: do I have that brush/scraper thingy that scrapes ice off my car, and can I always find someone to scrape off my car for me? Oh, and something about anti-freeze fluid. I don’t know where it goes since I don’t even know how to open the hood of my car, so I just had someone else put in the anti-freeze. I don’t know what its purpose is; I just know that I need it somewhere in my car.

Then I was advised to get an oil change. I have no idea what that is, either. I didn’t even go for the oil change; my dad took my car in for me. In fact, I’ve never gone to get an oil change, I get my dad or brother to go for me (Oh, the joys of being ignorant about cars!).

People also say to keep a thing of rock salt, anti-freeze (and something else I can’t remember) in their car’s trunk. I wish I knew that my mom put that in my trunk before I drove somewhere. I thought I hit something and got a flat tire. Nope, I just have bottles and bags of unknown stuff rolling around in my trunk. Thanks, Mom. Because of you, I thought I broke my car.

You’re supposed to drive slower when the roads are full of snow and ice. Apparently a lot of people feel no need to heed that advice. What’s wrong with barreling down the roads at NASCAR speeds in the snow and ice? I love to watch those idiots fishtail on the road. Now, I might not be the smartest crayon in the box, but I do know that ice makes things slippery, and it’s easy to fall on slippery things. (Take it from me, the walking klutz: ice plus slippery equals crash/lose control/fall flat on your face. Enough said.). My driver’s education teacher put it this way: in icy conditions, drive like you’re walking on eggshells. My best friend put it even better: nobody needs to drive at Edward Cullen speeds. (Hopefully “Twilight” fans got that joke. For all you non-“Twilight junkies,” you lost out on a great inside joke.)

Now, there are probably a lot of other things that you need to do for your car in the winter months. I wish I knew what they were. I’ll eventually learn…or make someone else do it for me.

Patty Kreiser is a junior broadcast journalism student. You may e-mail her at [email protected].