By The Chronicle Staff
Outside the Student Center
Guy: So he paid him $100 to do 50 pushups in front of him while he jerked off.
Outside of Dutch Treats
Girl 1: My head hurts… too much wine.
Girl 2: You want some pills?
Girl 1: What are they?
Gir 2: I don’t know, for pain or something… they’re just been in my purse.
At a Party Off-campus
Guy: Hey I called you over here to get away from that guy abusing the hair gel.
Girl: That’s my boyfriend.
Inside Au Bon Pain
Guy: Next time I drive drunk I’m gonna put my hazards on as a warning.
Inside Bits and Bytes
Guy: Oh Awesome! Amber’s tits just texted me.
In the Student Center
Guy: No one ever wants to drive my car because no one wants to drive the gay car.