By Matt Napolitano, Humor Columnist
First off, welcome back to the old friends. To the new friends, welcome to the world of Armchair Observations, the humorous look at the goings on in the sporting universe. Seriously, I promise. It’s mildly entertaining. Okay, it’s terrible, but you already read the headline so suck it up and deal.
Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed their summer break, be it vacation, or internship, or seeing “The Help”. I spent my time off poolside with a cold one enjoying the events that shook the sports world (at least briefly during that East Coast quake). My TV and laptop were on for the ups and the downs, the thrill of victory and the agony of Hines Ward’s two left feet.
If you missed any of these amazing moments, or just wish to look fondly back, I am here to assist you with some of the most memorable…
MIAMI HEAT LOSE
The Big Three of LeBron James, Chris Bosh, and Dwyane Wade made Miami the odds on favorites to win the NBA Championship. Heck, LeBron was already anticipating eight rings. The Heat took the East and made it to the big dance against the Dallas Mavericks. With King James in reign, there was no stopping Miami…until they forgot about there being four quarters in a game. Dallas took the series and the NBA title. LeBron hangs his head in shame. The city of Cleveland throws a raging kegger.
BRUINS WIN THE STANLEY CUP
It was a bloody, angry, nasty feud. No, I’m not talking about J. Lo and Marc Anthony’s split (J. Lo, call me). I’m talking about the Boston Bruins and the Vancouver Canucks. The Stanley Cup finals went an intense 7 games of neck and neck, buzzer beater hockey, only for it to end in a blowout 4-0 win for the Bruins to take the title. The city of Vancouver went up in flames after the game, in what can only be called the politest riot in world history. Oh, those Canadians.
NFL LOCKOUT
A dark age for football fans, who feared that their Sundays would be spent sharing time with loved ones and going to other outings. The horror! The horror! Roger Goodell and the NFLPA worked tooth and nail to find common ground, and eventually reach a resolution and keep football running until 2015. Either way, the price of your PSL went up, so did the price of a hot dog. However, something else went up…salaries for players and management! Yay? As rough a period as this was, many fantasy football players realized the greatest team name: “Rock Out with Your