You would think that Shifty from Crazytown would have given up after he and his crew released the worst song in the history of music (or at least in 1999) “Butterfly.” However, the man is determined to out do himself. With his solo album, Happy Love Stick, Shifty does just that. The lyrics are atrocious and the music isn’t as aggressive as Crazytown’s stuff, but not a better alternative. The only difference between this album and his Crazytown work is that the rest of Crazytown was smart enough to avoid the train wreck that is Happy Love Stick.
The first single off Happy Love Stick, “Slide Along Slide,” is the sonic equivalent of the ending scene of Braveheart, where they torture Mel Gibson. The lyrics-like traditional Shifty form-make no sense and are incredibly bad. In “Butterfly” the lyrics are “Hey sugar momma, come and dance with me / The smartest thing you ever did was take a chance with me / So, what ever tickles your fancy / Girl it’s you like Sid and Nancy.” Who wants to be compared to Sid and Nancy, the antithesis of happy/romantic couples?
You would think the only way to go is up, but even Shifty manages to find a new low for the art of songwriting. In “Slide Along Slide” you hear lyrics like “Oh, girlie, girlie / Come ‘n dance with me /Move that naughty body / Come close to me,” and “She’s daddy’s little angel / But she wasn’t last night.” These lyrics are ones that you would find in the most corniest, abysmal rap song about girls and booze known to mankind. Especially with the standard “Do it all night long” line that every crappy song needs to have.
It doesn’t end there kiddies! There are eleven other tracks on the album that will make you scrunch your face as if you sucked on a lemon. Shifty has single-handedly taken songwriting back several years. Trying to find something to fix all the damage that Shifty has inflicted onto the music industry is like trying to find the cure for AIDS. If PETA fights against the mistreatment of animals, then the RIAA should file a restraining order to keep Shifty from a recording studio so he will not torture true music lovers. Happy Love Stick, has made listeners want to take his Happy Love Stick and beat him to a bloody pulp with it.
This album doesn’t deserve any stars whatsoever, not even for trying. In fact Shifty needs to give us stars for even attempting to listen to it.
-Samantha Nwaoshai
