By Compiled by The Chronicle Staff

In Calkins:

Guy: He said he was a 23-year-old and had never kissed a girl. He was really ugly.

In the Student Center:

Girl: You don’t text someone at 2 in the morning saying, “What are you doing later?” for no reason.

Outside the Student Center:

Girl 1: What are you doing for spring break?

Girl 2: Having surgery.

In Bits & Bytes:

Girl: He’s YOCOing so hard right now.

Guy: What?

Girl: You’re Only Cute Online.

In the Student Center:

Girl: And then the wall and the bed were shaking so I worked on my paper since I was so disturbed.

Outside Davison:

Guy: Straight up kiss his a–. No homo.

Outside Adams Playhouse:

Girl: Saying “lolsy” is just taking it too far.

On the Intramural Field:

Girl: I hate telling you stuff like this.

Guy: Baby, you can tell me anything.

Girl: I’m late.

Guy: For what?

Outside Davison:

Girl 1: You b—h. Are we matching tonight?

Girl 2: I hope not, because your  boobs look so much better than mine.

In the Student Center:

Girl: My dad told me yesterday that I should go on an all-juice diet.

Outside the Student Center:

Girl: I dated a convict once. I was kind of like a rehabilitation program. My vagina should be tax-exmpt.

In Breslin:

Guy: Yeah, look at those thunder thighs.

Girl 1: No, stop. Now she’s not gonna eat for a week.

Girl 2: Thanks, guys.

In Class:

Girl 1: I’m not drinking this whole break.

Girl 2: I’m gonna call shenanigans on that statement.