By Sophia Strawser, Assistant features editor

Keeping your dorm room clean can be the last thing you want to think about. I know I personally can’t remember the last time I made my bed. And when the word “dusting” is mentioned I simply laugh. Each Saturday morning for my roommate and me begins the same way.

We wake up in the afternoon, and as we get out of bed we notice the atrocious state of our room. To briefly describe what our dorm looks like you need to first imagine what would happen if an excessively shedding cat, a chocolate factory freely dispensing wrappers every 10 minutes, and a vomiting H&M store came together. This is our dorm room. The logical thing to do on a free Saturday would be to clean it. My roommate and I are a bit confused as to how to do this foreign thing called cleaning.

In an attempt to make our room presentable, we eventually had to learn the art of cleaning. It began with us walking to Dutch, only to realize that we were far too poor to buy cleaning supplies from Hofstra. So, to Target we went. Our cart soon had Windex, Swiffer wipes (surprisingly enough we already owned a Swiffer), Febreze, and a pack of Oreos – double-stuffed. We were now ready to begin embarking on the journey of cleaning. After arriving back at our dorm, we proceeded to eat the Oreos. It wasn’t until the next day that we swept and Swiffered. Because our room was initially in such bad shape the small act of sweeping up made so much difference that we felt as though we had fully cleaned our dorm. Of course this was not actually the case.

The best way to force yourself to clean is have friends use your room as the “hang out” room. When your friends start commenting on the fact that if they sit on your carpet they are going to vomit you will begin to feel the need to clean up. My roommate and I tend to still leave people on the urge of hurling, but that’s just our inexcusable cleaning habits.

Many “clean” dorms tend to have a schedule. One person cleans one week, the other the next. This would work for my suite had the word “clean” not been included.

So I will now call the kettle black by saying: Hofstra, keep your dorms clean. Make a schedule or whatever crap you can think of that will make you want to clean your dorm. As for me, I’ll just live in grime.