By Compiled by the Chronicle Staff
In the Student Center:
Girl: Anyone who is over 12 and not disabled is an a—–e.
In the Student Center:
Girl: Speaking of socially acceptable, you will never guess what I heard while smoking in the bathroom.
Outside the Student Center:
Girl: I was like, “Can you go grope somewhere else? I’m trying to enjoy my Spagetti O’s!”
In Class
Girl: Our teacher says “d–k” so much that I now know how to say it in sign language.
Guy: Has he said “c–k” yet?
On the Unispan
Girl: I think I’m gonna go vegan.
Guy: I hear that wanting violent sex is a common side effect.
Girl: At least I’ll be saving animals.
At the library:
Guy: I woke up this morning being single on Facebook and with a black eye.
In class:
Guy 1: ….My ex. I mean, our ex.
Guy 2: You guys dated the same girl?
Guy 3: No, we banged the same girl.
In Dempster:
Guy 1: He’s straight with an effeminate voice. It’s a gift.
Guy 2: Yeah. It’s like his voice is candy and his pants are the windowless van.
In Student Center:
Guy: So I walk out of my room and I see him watching panda porn.
In Class:
Professor: Kill the people. Take the stuff.
Off-campus:
Guy 1: The smell of a solid log is way different than a fart.
Guy 2: Yeah. There’s a reason we poop into water.
In Colonial Square:
Guy: Soccer’s a great sport if you’re into homosexuality.
On Memorial Quad:
Guy: We hung out, like once, and now he thinks we’re bros.
Overhear
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