By Andrew McNally
Columnist
Jordaan Mason & Horse Museum – Divorce Lawyers…
Grade: Silent, Streaming Tears
F–k Mariah Carey and Michael Bolton. Are you alone on Valentine’s Day? I am too. Open up some wine, prepare yourself for a night in, and listen to this album. Jordaan Mason, the obviously disturbed Canadian musician, took every page from Neutral Milk Hotel’s book for his 2009 debut. It’s an hour of psychosexual odes to life, death, bodily mutilations and all the other components of a divorce. Whereas Jeff Mangum fails poetically, Mason engulfs his songs in brutally honest and frightening lyrics. This album might remind you of that last bad break-up but, you know, it’s better to just let that out.
If You Like: Neutral Milk Hotel, the Antler
Los Campesinos! – Romance Is Boring
Grade: Alcohol Poisoning
No, put away “Love Actually” and put this on instead. Have some more wine and open up that box of chocolates you bought for yourself. Go ahead, you deserve it. This Welsh indie band’s 2010 magnum opus rages against relationships in a deafeningly poppy way. The sadness will spill out of you. The lyrics are painfully independent, and the album’s musical transitions are brutally drastic. The bells may sound happy, but the musicians are not. This album is about the decline and decay of relationships and the people involved in them. Go ahead, let it out. It’ll get better.
If You Like: Tokyo Police Club, Frightened Rabbit
Titus Andronicus – The Monitor
Grade: Dying At Antietam
If you’re like me, you like your music to get louder as your night of solitude continues. And you’ve finished your box of wine and are looking for some redemption, because the last album broke you. Grieve with this decade’s best album, “The Monitor.” The New Jersey indie-punks cry angst-filled rallies about descents into alcohol and drug abuse, but this album might not have you weeping. Don’t worry, the worst is over. These are songs built around solidarity. As bitter as “The Monitor” is, you might not come out feeling alone. You made it through your night, and tomorrow is Friday.
If You Like: F–ked Up, Japandroids