By Kendall GibsonCOLUMNIST

‘Nick & Knight’ – Nick Carter and Jordan Knight

When I saw the cover, I shivered, because I knew what was to come. A double image of two poncy man-boys does not leave much to the imagination. This was especially true when I vaguely recognized Nick Carter as a member of the Backstreet Boys. Do I remember Nick Carter? Yes, I admit it. Do I remember this Jordan Knight guy? No I do not, and neither should you. I checked and he is from NKOTB, which is sadly an acronym I now know.

If You Like: Justin Timberlake, Backstreet Boys, New Kids On The Block

‘My Everything’ – Ariana Grande

Someone who really loves Ariana Grande told me to write this review, but sitting down to write it made me have a completely random realization: reviews are stupid. You shouldn’t waste your time wondering what I think of a particular artist because all that matters is what you think. Someone else in some other review, for example, could say that Ariana Grande has the voice of a demon-monkey. And that her lyrics are dumb. But don’t worry about what that other person thinks, because they are cruel and stupid.

If You Like:  Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato

‘Sparks’ – Imogen Heap

This album is like a breath of fresh air, but not entirely, because fresh air is bland and tasteless. If this album were air, it would be the air surrounding a bazaar. Aspects of musical culture from all over the world are mixed in there, but over top is the musk of human sweat. While gimmicky, her patented synthesizer gloves do make for some clever soundscapes, and her singing alone makes her music beautiful. Imogen Heap manages to make trance music sound instrumental, which adds a much-needed human quality to a genre that sounds lifeless.

If You Like: Goldfrapp, Tori Amos, La Roux.