By By Verla Roberts
After a ton of work and midterms a much needed break is in store. The holidays become a time to get away from all the professors, the studying, the pressure and the squeaky bed. For some students, all they ever seem to want to do is go home, eat mom’s cooking and sleep in a bed bigger than an arm’s length. Well that is if they have a room to come home to.
For some, their rooms are lovingly tended to by their mothers, ready for when they return home. Others are shocked to find their rooms completely rearranged or being used for a whole other purpose. Parents decide to use bedrooms for their own personal television and computer areas, or siblings decided to take it all over.
“My little brother took over my closet and I had to bring all my clothes here, but I didn’t mind that at first,” Chabely Ramos, a junior English major from the Bronx, said. “Then my brothers started putting the bench for their weights, bikes and their laundry in the room as well. Every time I came home I had to live out of my suitcase.”
Not only do siblings take over rooms, but student bedrooms can also be taken over by the entire family.
Jennet Gavin, a junior print journalism major from Connecticut, commented how her family decided to use her room as a storage area. Gavin went on to joke how her brothers wanted to change her room into a billiards area when she first left.
Junior public relations major, Jason Osborne from Connecticut, went through a similar situation. His room was changed into his mother’s personal dressing area.
Leaving for college, students would not think their parents would take over their rooms.
“I guess parents change their kids rooms to fill the void their kids left when they go off to college,” Ramos said. “It wont remind them that it is an empty room or maybe they just want to use the space.”
On the other hand, besides doing some remolding, parents want to talk to their children more. They want to know how classes are going, how their friends are and how they are getting by living independently.
Erik Jurt, a junior BCIS major from New York, said his parents try to relate to him more. Jurt felt his parents started talking to him more because they probably realize how much they missed him since he was gone and was no longer in their daily lives. He continued to say how they wanted to make sure he was doing all right as an independent.
“I would say when it came to my parents, we all got along great after I left and became much more open,” Jurt said. “My father would treat me more as an equal then before.”
Similarly, others always had a strong bond with their parents. They were always very involved in their lives in high school and were able to get past the barriers to build a loving and trusting relationship. Coming to college has actually strengthened that bond.
“We have a great relationship and they definitely have a lot of trust in me,” Mark Denny, a senior music business major from New Jersey, said. “They are more inclined to allow me to make decisions about the house such as fix something or have it fixed to fit my needs now that I’m almost finished with college and moving back for a period of time.”
Jo-Ann Denny, a mother of two, was worried that she wouldn’t know her son Mark’s friends once he entered college. By allowing her kids to know they could bring anyone home, she felt like she had a better insight in their lives.
“The key and the most difficult thing to remember as a parent is to remember that the kids are growing up and they are able to do things on their own,” Denny said. “That’s hard for parents to do. You want to give them support even though you want to help them more, you have to let them go.”
Denny went on to explain how she never thought about changing her children’s rooms once they left for college because she always wanted them to know they had a place to come back. Injecting self-esteem, keeping the lines of communication open and respecting them, is the best way to keep that bond together, she said. .
“I’m home very little,” Mark Cudina, junior international business major from Queens, said. “The relationship is strained because I spend more and more time on campus and not home.”
On the other hand, going home for the holidays or at all is not the same for everyone. For those it is a trip that they dread or would rather not take.
“I dont like going home because theres absolutely nothing to do at home and none of my friends are around because theyre all at school,” Sean Mallett, a junior computer engineering major, said. “Also because of my parents, they kinda bring me back to feeling like im in high school again. They tell me what to do and ask a lot of questions
After spending time at school with an overwhelming schedule, some students find it difficult to relax. The excitement of going home can quickly pass and then the boredom seems to set.
“I like the idea of going home, but its usually soured out after being home a few hours,” Manuel Pagan, a junior business marketing from New York City, said. “Then it becomes boring and stressful, but i do love my family.”