By By James J. Parziale

So last week’s strategy for picking NFL games blew up in my face like a hand grenade. The theory was to pick against the teams my gut swayed me toward since it hadn’t worked all season. Well, my 4-10 reverse record would’ve been a respectable win percentage. My record of 33-55 should’ve been 39-49. Instead, in the words of former Saints and Colts head coach Jim Mora, “We couldn’t do diddly-poo.” This week hopefully my luck changes, but we all know pickin’ ain’t easy.

GAME OF THE WEEK

Pittsburgh (3-2) +1 at Cincinnati (5-1): It’s almost laughable to print, but if the artists formerly known as the Bungals can lay the wood to the Steelers, they will have a chokehold on the AFC North. QB Carson Palmer and the Johnson boys (RB Rudi and WR Chad) are starting to resemble this decade’s version of the 1990s triplets. Those Cowboys, who had Troy Aikman, Emmit Smith and Michael Irvin, won three of four Super Bowls.

Meanwhile, in Steel-town, fill-in QB Tommy Maddox looked so bad in an overtime loss to the Jaguars it made me question whether he was shaving points. Pick: Bengals

UPSET SPECIAL

San Diego (3-2) +4 at Philadelphia (3-2): The two superstars of this game are polar opposites of each other. Eagles WR Terrell Owens’ mouth would be better suited with a muzzle, but he deserves props for consistently dominating. For the Chargers, well-mannered RB LaDainian Tomlinson may be the downfall of QBs Drew Brees and Philip Rivers. Not only can he rush for 1,500 yards a season, but now he throws touchdown passes?! If Marty Schottenheimer direct snaps the ball to Tomlinson, who needs a QB? Pick: Chargers

Kansas City (3-2) +2 at Miami (2-4): It’s “high” time the Dolphins integrated RB Ricky Williams into the offense. With the Chiefs coming to town this week, it could be a “high” scoring game, and Williams has “blazing” speed. Williams will be the key to “burning” past a much-improved Chiefs defense. On the other side, the Chiefs offense versus the Dolphins defense will be a great match-up, but Miami as a team has combined for 27 penalties the last two weeks. That number is just too “high.” I know, it was just too easy. Pick: Chiefs

Indianapolis (6-0) -14.5 at Houston (0-5): It’s unlikely the Texans will go winless this season, but anything can happen. The Seahawks rolled the Texans last week and David Carr has taken more hits on the field than Michael Jackson does on Comedy Central. Colts QB Peyton Manning may not win the MVP this year, but if he’s holding the Lombardi trophy at the end of the year, he’ll take it. Pick: Colts

New Orleans (2-4) NL at St. Louis (2-4): The Rams looked to upstage the Colts last Monday by jumping out to a 17-0 lead, until St. Louis realized it isn’t that good. No potshots here at the homeless Saints. Pick: Rams

Detroit (2-3) +2.5 at Cleveland (2-3): This must game must be a big deal in the Central time zone, but it gets no clout here. The Lions are a game under .500 and are tied for first in the NFC North. If that doesn’t tell the story of parity in the NFC, what does? Pick: Browns

Green Bay (1-4) NL at Minnesota (1-4): Last year this was a Wild Card playoff game. This year it’s just nauseating. Daunte Culpepper’s 12 interceptions have Randy Moss giggling in the California sun. However, Brett Favre stinks in domes. Pick: Vikings

San Francisco (1-4) +12.5 at Washington (3-2): The 49ers offense last reached the end zone Sept. 25, and thankfully they beat the Rams on Opening Day because 49ers fans would be on the lookout for a winless season. Maybe the 49ers tanking this season is a way to screw with USC QB Matt Leinart by saying, “Ha! You can’t run from us forever!” Pick: 49ers

Dallas (4-2) +3 at Seattle (4-2): The Cowboys have now won two three-point games (49ers and Giants) which they should’ve lost. Seahawks RB Shaun Alexander is like Batman, saving his best for night. He’ll do just enough this week. Pick: Seahawks

Denver (5-1) +2 at NY Giants (4-2): The Broncos can’t play on the road. The Giants fade faster than the leaves in the fall. This is a tough one, so my girlfriend picked it. Pick: Broncos

Baltimore (2-3) +1 at Chicago (2-3): The Bears, who lead the NFC North, have allowed just 62 points this season-five fewer than the league-leading Colts. The safe bet here is there will be more punts than points. Heck, I won’t only give you the pick, I’ll throw in the score too. Pick: Bears 2, Ravens 0

Tennessee (2-4) +3 at Arizona (1-4): This game brings tears to my eyes. Watching Steve McNair dwindle in mediocrity is sorrowful, but the Cardinals organization makes me want to bawl. Their only win came against the 49ers in Mexico. It shouldn’t count. Pick: Titans

Buffalo (3-3) +3 at Oakland (1-4): LaMont Jordan and Randy Moss are clicking their heels hoping it’s all a dream. As bad as the Raiders have been, a team as shoddy as Buffalo can be a nightmare. Pick: Bills

NY Jets (2-4) +7 at Atlanta (4-2): Can ABC organize a Vinny Testaverde-Mike Vick footrace as a halftime show? It would make me laugh and draw ratings as well. Seriously. Pick: Falcons

These picks are for recreational use only.