By Martini Amour

We all know that no matter how old we get, there is still a strange exhilaration that can only be fulfilled by meeting a new love interest. Whether you met him or her last night or the two of you shared only a couple of nights together, there is something vulnerable and exciting during this period. It’s a specialized set of emotions that can only be felt when you are in this stage with someone. In turn, nothing can ruin the mood like learning that your potential new love interest is graduating in two weeks, or that you have the next few years together but for the next three months he or she is moving 3,000 miles away.

While most of us will be the first to admit that college has proven to be some of the best times of our lives, it also can screw things up in a heartbeat. Over these few years, we learn about ourselves, grow independently and have the potential to do amazing things. However, with that comes this obligation to drop everything and go home for a month in the winter and three months in the summer. On top of having to stop our lives as we know it, this also puts a severe damper on our love lives. So how do you know that your new found romance is worth trying long distance with? And, how do you approach talking about the situation?

It always seems that within the last weeks of the semester everything usually falls into place. While our academic lives fall into shambles, our friendships and love interests some how magnetically find each other. Well, that’s just fabulous, but where were those magnets in the other three months when life was stagnant? The hardest part in deciding whether or not to endure the long distance summer romance is judging if you both are into it enough to try. Before you can approach your partner about it, you have to be sure about your feelings and whether or not this was an end-of-the semester fling or a real thing at the wrong time. At such a young age, you cannot necessarily base any of your opinions on time frames alone. You could hang out with someone everyday for two weeks and be much closer and on a completely different level than if you had been “talking” for three months. On that same note, you can’t base the future solely on your sexual relationship, either. Sex to some people is just that, a stress reliever for finals or something to do. But other people, men and women alike, regard it as much more significant in their lives and there is no sweeping generalization about how far you two have gone sexually and how it relates to your future.

A rule that I like to abide by is that if you cannot openly discuss your feelings about summer and being separated with the other person, then you are not advanced enough as a couple to be doing so. If the two of you are going to equally put effort into this long distance relationship, then you have to be able to share your feelings and compromise about it. Being together while you are apart is fine if you have spent time together, but it is never a good way to start a relationship. On the same wavelength, if your partner keeps forgetting where you are interning over the summer, or where you are from for that matter, then chances are its about to fizzle out.

So if you do decide to either remain faithful or at least explore your new romance through separation this summer, there are certain aspects of a distant new romance that you should keep in mind. First, don’t let the jealousy bug continuously bite you all summer long. You have to understand that you have yet to know everything about this person, especially beyond their collegiate life. Therefore, keep in mind that just like you, they have friends and jobs and parties and pasts at home that they know how to handle just as well as you do. Do not be suspicious about their every little move or missed phone call, you’ll drive yourself crazy all summer and won’t enjoy them being there. Equally, don’t continually harass them on the phone or AIM either. As we get older, our summers become shorter and more stress-packed so give them their space to enjoy home and live their own life. Just spice it up when you have to.

And, as always, summer or not, never forget what makes you independently happy. Even if you and your beau are living on opposite ends of the island, or opposite ends of the country, don’t make your summer happiness rely on their every phone call and contact. Enjoy your time apart from each other and feel confident in your decision to pursue your relationship when you two are back together.