By Mita Tate
Now that Valentine’s Day is over and all that lovey, dovey nonsense is finished, it’s time to celebrate the end of this crummy holiday with 10 songs of pure, bitter hatred. These ain’t your typical breakup songs.
Pantera-“This Love”-“This Love” just proves that even crazy cowboys from Hell feel pain too. The mid 1990s hit is a catchy little ditty about head games. “You keep this love fist / love scar / love break,” lead singer Phil Anselmo screams over one of the late Dimebag Darrell’s timeless riffs in one of the best anti-ballads of all time.
Glassjaw-“Lovebites And Razorlines”-The title sounds like a sad Emo breakup, and that’s pretty much what the song is about. Everyone’s favorite misogynist Daryl Palumbo is back with some words of hatred towards that former special someone who broke his heart. Those words, you ask? Well, how’s “You filthy whore / Shut up and swallow my pride for me / move closer and drive further / suck on the end of this d*** that c*** lead / but first I’m comin’ for you all” and a chorus filled with “I know a girl who sells herself around / and I’m sure that one day she’ll sign autographs in your town.” Who knew such bitter hatred could develop in the quiet suburbs of Roslyn!
Smashing Pumpkins-“An Ode To No One (F*** You)”-Billy Corgan may not be the most menacing looking character, so when you betray him, instead of getting up his little fisty cuffs, he’ll write a song about it. But not just any song. A song filled with extreme contentment to whoever it may be-rumor has it’s Courtney Love, but it really doesn’t matter because, its message is universal-“This message is for anyone who dares to hear a fool / You can’t bring me back / You can’t bring me back / ’cause I gave it all back to you.”
Eamon-“F*** It (Don’t Want You Back”-This is one of the worst songs to come out in 2004, but still nonetheless, a song of true hatred towards an ex-lover. Well, maybe not true hatred, considering it was probably a marketing scheme for him and his “ex-girlfriend” Frankee, but nonetheless with a chorus of “F*** what I said it don’t mean s*** now / F*** the presents might as well throw em out / F*** all those kisses they didn’t mean jack / F*** you, you hoe,” it cannot be denied-no matter how ridiculous and contrived it is.
Bloodhound Gang-“I Hope You Die”-“I hope your Pinto begins to spin / Takes out a disabled Vietnam Veteran / Mows down a Nobel Peace Prize Winner / And maybe some orphans having Christmas dinner / Perhaps even the British Royal family / And the Rabbi that’s clutching the bottle-fed-puppy / And we can’t forget the newlyweds / And those Jerry’s Kids are as good as dead / I hope this helps / I hope this helps to clarify / I hope you die.” No explanation required.
Guns N’ Roses-“Used To Love Her”-Before the bloated “November Rain” and its uber-bloated brother “Estranged” hit the airwaves in the early 1990s, Guns N’ Roses liked to keep it simple. While this isn’t a traditional hate song, and is actually about Axl Rose’s dog, the chorus “I used to love her, but I had to kill her / She b****ed so much / She drove me nuts / And now I’m happier this way,”makes for jolly good fun.
Dillinger Escape Plan-“Sunshine The Werewolf”-A new addition to the list, “Sunshine The Werewolf” is an attack on all senses. It not only contains powerful lyrics, but a vocal delivery that will make you think lead singer Greg Puciato hates you personally for “destroying” his life, and is determined to hunt you down, slaughter you and bury you in his “queen sized coffin that was built for two.”
Ben Folds Five-“Song For The Dumped”-Piano-man Ben Folds has always been known for his witty lyrics, but with “Song For The Dumped” he broke all the rules. While “well f*** you too / Give me back my money / You b**** / I want my money back / And don’t forget to give m back my black t-shirt,” may come across as petty and immature, to anyone who has ever been dumped, this ridiculous chorus is probably the only way to describe those first few moments of newfound, forced singlehood.
Alanis Morrisette-“You Oughta Know”-No list would be complete without the inclusion of “You Oughta Know” by Canadian pop sensation turned brooding artiste. The fact that this song is probably about “Full House” funny man (well not really funny) Dave Coulier, doesn’t take away from the frustrated anger and betrayal felt by Morrisette. While she has since settled down and found love, “You Oughta Know” will remain one of the best bitter breakup songs of modern time.
Ugly Kid Joe-“Everything About You”-The quintessential hate song. Back in the early ’90s when everyone was singing about sweet cherry pie and girls, girls, girls, Ugly Kid Joe came out with this instant hit-a song that made it fun to hate again. Crane not only hates you, but he also hates your mother, your sister, the sun and even sex. While no one was ever able to figure out what the heck was up lead singer Whit Crane’s butt, “Everything About You” remains the quintessential hate song.
Mita Tate is Entertainment Editor for The Chronicle. You can e-mail your comments to her at [email protected]