As college students, we face a lot of pressure coming from multiple directions. We take classes that are too hard; we try to juggle school, internships, a social life and a job; and we feel the need to do the absolute most to guarantee a true “college experience.” These pressures come from school, but outside of school there are so many more things that cause us insurmountable stress. 

One problem that I have found to be common among most people is our insistence on spending every moment with other people. It may seem like a normal thing to enjoy the company of others, but when that enjoyment becomes a fear of being judged when we spend time by ourselves, then that becomes a real issue.

A common misconception is that people can only be happy when they’re surrounded by other people. Tables at restaurants are set to two, tickets to concerts that are sold online automatically assume you’re purchasing two and someone enjoying time to themselves is looked down upon.

After missing countless opportunities because I couldn’t find someone who shared the same interests as me or wasn’t “too broke” to go out, I realized how much people miss out on in life because of other people. 

We are conditioned to feel awkward when we’re doing things by ourselves. This not only makes us dependent on other people, but it stunts our mental growth. We cling on to other people and never take time just for ourselves.

The best days of my life have been when I chose to do what I wanted to, despite not having another person accompanying me. I’ve gone to concerts and Broadway shows by myself, I frequently go out to eat by myself and I don’t feel ashamed about any of it. The presence of another person shouldn’t change how much we enjoy ourselves while doing the things that usually bring us joy. 

When I went to a concert by myself, I didn’t feel like I was missing out because I didn’t have someone to share it with. I felt content that I had myself to enjoy the moment with and now the memory of it. By being preoccupied with making plans with other people, we forget to live in the present. A simple night out can be made so much more complicated by the addition of another person, as we see time and time again in group chats. 

There is a negative stigma against self-care in the United States. Everyone is expected to be constantly working, and when we do that we end up never taking any breaks. We all live to die, instead of living to live. Sometimes we need a break from the chaos that controls our lives, and part of that chaos includes our friends. If we take time to be by ourselves, even if it’s in little ways like taking a walk or grabbing a coffee, the impact it can have on our mental health and our confidence can be life-changing.

While experiencing life with other people is a completely natural and expected thing, we seldom remember that in the long run, we are stuck with ourselves, so we should do all that we can to make sure that we are living the best lives that we can. Our happiness should not be dependent on the actions of other people. We should be able to be sources of happiness for ourselves. 

This may be cheesy, but you only live once, so make every second count and do what makes you happy, even if it means doing it by yourself.

Eleni Kothesakis is a public relations major and an editor for the Arts and Entertainment section of The Hofstra Chronicle.