“Again,” my father said, arms crossed, as he stood in front of a 2012 Toyota Camry.
I was 17, sitting in the driver’s seat, about to shift into reverse. I had been attempting, and failing, to parallel park in the same spot for the last 30 minutes. My driver’s test was the next day and my frustration was sinking in.

I know I wasn’t trying my hardest, but I felt an overwhelming sense of self-doubt. Employees from the bakery around the corner passed by, staring at my father directing me like a traffic cop. My cheeks burned red with embarrassment.

He moved from the front of the car towards the driver’s side window, and I felt myself looking down in guilt, bracing myself for a lecture.

“Again. I know you can do this,” he said.

I sat in embarrassment and frustration, but when I looked at his face through the open car window, I didn’t see criticism. I saw a father who believed in his daughter’s ability more than she did herself. In that moment, my frustration turned into a fiery perseverance. I reversed out of the spot and tried again and again until I found myself perfectly snuggled between two rusty trucks.

The next day, I passed my driver’s test with ease. The first person I told was my father. I realized then that there would always be at least one person who believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. Suddenly, nothing seemed scary or unachievable.

From the very beginning, my father never gave up on me. There’s no grainy home footage of him holding his newborn daughter or of my first birthday party.

The first time he met me was at an all-girls adoption agency in Beijing, China. For the first two weeks, there was no instant connection – I cried endlessly whenever he held me and rejected his attempts to bond with me. Despite his disappointment, his perseverance and devotion to being a father, even in the hard times, were stronger than any challenges he faced.

He spent the next two weeks walking with me, comforting me and proving his love through patience. On the plane back to New York, I was glued to his side.

My father’s perseverance and complete lack of fear of what others thought of him were qualities that I had to work twice as hard to develop. His bravery and deep commitment to family were passed down from his own father, who was tough on his kids but firmly believed that family came before everything. My grandfather also had his own dreams for my father, and he pressured him to become a police officer. My father obliged, giving up his aspirations of acting in hopes of making his father proud. He chose stability over risk, dedicating the next thirty years of his life to the New York State Police Department, even working with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

His devotion to being a father never faltered, even as I got older and he continued on in his career. He danced with me at my Girl Scout Troop’s Father-Daughter dances. He allowed me to choose any after-school sport, coached my first year of soccer and trained with me even outside of official practice. He volunteered to march with my high school band in the New York City St. Patrick’s Day Parade, enduring four-hour treks through the city. When I told him that I auditioned for my middle school’s spring musical, he was ecstatic.

For the next six years, he bought a ticket to every single show that I performed in, no matter if I was in the ensemble or a lead. He toured every college with me and listened to me when I was at my lowest and wanted to transfer schools. He encouraged me to chase my dreams despite the uncertainty and financial risks – something he had never been given the freedom to do.

He lived vicariously through me during my semester abroad, allowing me to be curious about the world despite knowing that a part of me will always live in London, England.
Soon, he will watch me walk across the stage at my college graduation with a degree in English and journalism, knowing that my life is only just beginning.

To my dad: you hold dreams in your heart that you never had the opportunity to pursue because you had to choose a secure career. The bravery, resilience and curiosity that you admire in me are the very traits that I have learned from you and your father. I dance, I write and I love, and I have the chance to take risks all because of your sacrifices. I would never have the courage to choose my own path without your love and patience.