By Chris Carvo

Earlier this month, after trying for 30 years, the Rolling Stones were finally allowed to play for the greatest karate-fighting country in the world. Playing China was just another feather in the long-weathered cap of accomplishments for Mick Jagger and the “World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band.” So what’s up next for Sir Mick?

An ABC sitcom.

According to The New York Times, Mick has filmed scenes for a strangely original comedy pilot set to air next fall. The show, tentatively called “Let’s Rob Mick Jagger” also co-stars the ever-available Donal Logue, who plays a down-on-luck janitor who schemes the entire caper with his squirrelly friends. Ned Kelly and Jimmy the Cab Driver in the same show? In the words of Pigman from PCU: “This is my thesis man! This is my closing argument! I can stop watching TV!”

The series was originally envisioned with Jeff Goldbloom in mind, but he is already in works with another conflicting NBC sitcom disaster. Just imagine the board meeting on that one. “Okay we can’t get the guy who played Mac from ‘Earth Girls Are Easy,’ so what else you got?” (All execs nervously look around the room. Intern starts scrolling through his iPod.)

The move marks ABC’s attempt at moving away from the reality or episodic drama formats back to the sitcom. ABC’s boldness will surely bleed onto other major networks. To compete, Fox has just greenlighted “Let’s Narc Scott Weiland” and NBC has begun negotiations for “Let’s Dyke-Out With David Bowie.”

This early coup d’etat on show formats is quite a bold attempt from ABC since reality and drama are usually financial cash-cows. Not to mention the fairly new loyalty given to drama shows from audiences. In a recent Neilson Ratings scan, “Two and a Half Men” was the only sitcom to even land in the top 10 behind the reality of “Idol,” of course.

The trouble with sitcoms is it appears that nobody can make one that works. On paper, throw any “Seinfeld” or “Friends” co-star in and you have a successful show. But we’ve all seen how that works out. Jason Alexander is forced into KFC commercial Hades while “Joey” treads shark infested waters.

Fox has been very up front with its “no new sitcoms” policy, even canceling the fan-favorite “Arrested Development.” Victor Fresco, writer and executive producer for Fox has claimed sitcoms “made programming seem more false. You see sitcoms with people saying things that they would never in real life.”

Fresco brings up an interesting point about sitcoms. Sure they’re manufactured. Sure they’re unrealistic. Sure they’re a false and highly idealized form of diversion. But that’s what we are supposed to like about them. The greatest escapists are Americans, and sitcoms allow the public to escape the serious and unglamorous realities of their crummy lives.

So it appears then that TV classics are “classic” for a reason. They serve the much-needed purpose of being the established model or standard that has a lasting significance and worth. They are well-known, enduring and refined.

Do you think in 25 years people are going to be watching re-runs of whatever “Survivor-esque dating shows” they come up with next?

No. It will be old news. It’s the same reason why MTV boasts both the highest reality show, “The Real World,” when new seasons are aired, and also the lowest, when “Real World” re-runs are shown. The stars have fizzled, we’ve forgotten their preppy first names and now something starts to stink like stale leftovers. Americans need fresh yet quickly prepared helpings of entertainment with a soap opera-like revolving door of characters and situations, a format that sitcoms have always offered.

Whether we realize it or not, the next generation’s projected classic television line-up will carry some complicated sociological and historical implications. People now watch “All In The Family” because it was edgy then and edgy now. Archie Bunker is a great clashing-with-everyone character who always learned about important issues of the day.

Classic shows are like a history book. “All In The Family” examined 70’s life in general, spanning politics, minority issues, sex, religion and other controversial topics. The show discussed these issues humorously, but also celebrated the love and faithfulness of the family dynamic without a side of cheese.

What will the millennium generation’s reality shows say about us in the future? That we are greedy, libidinous and promiscuous? That we love to watch other people fail and backstab one another? That wife swapping is lawful and entertaining (as long as there is no sex)?

And then what? What’s left to see after we have examined, scrutinized and criticized every dark truth about ourselves as modern American people? Public-access executions? Snuff television? Rape telethons? Let’s not let the next TV generation be defined by our sinful behavior.

You know what, a sitcom starring Mick Jagger doesn’t sound so bad after all.