By Bob Bonett

Well, I am back, indefinitely, to attempt to make my readers millionaires. Ed graciously handed me the segment last week, perhaps to pay more attention to his playoff bound Phillies. I, on the other hand, have an open schedule from now until March after watching Willie Randolph and Tommy Terrible blow what was seemingly an insurmountable lead in just 17 games.

I know, football, the true American pastime, is just underway, with an infinite amount of intriguing storylines that should continue to build as the season goes on: the Patriots look like they can actually go undefeated, Tony Romo has forgotten about his playoff debacle last year and now looks like the best quarterback in the NFL, the Chargers and Bears are lost while Oakland and Detroit are cruising, and Browns quarterback Derek Anderson might as well be the new Brett Favre considering the clip at which he is hooking up for touchdown passes with his wide receivers.

However, how can you fully enjoy the year when you are a *bleepin* Jets fan. One year removed from arguably the most improbable playoff run in a decade, Gang Green looks terrible in every aspect of the game this year. The defensive front seven can’t put any pressure on any quarterback, the secondary is banged up, Chad Pennington once again is being hurt by his poor arm strength, Thomas Jones hasn’t turned into the feature running back we all hoped he would be, and the offensive line might as well just give up considering how badly they are being manhandled by the opposition.

I was able to live with this mediocrity up until last Sunday, though, because coach Eric Mangini is a great leader and the team was 1-2 heading into a match-up with the cellar-dwelling Buffalo Bills. A win could have even moved the team back to .500 overall and 2-1 in the AFC East.

Some way or another, though, the Jets managed to lose to a team that may end up going 1-15, unable to mount any sort of rush offense against the league’s worst defense against the run, and making Bills rookie quarterback Trent Edwards look like a seasoned All Pro veteran.

But hey, what would an NFL year be without the Jets tripping over themselves? The team hasn’t won-or even been to-a Super Bowl in about 300 years, and the All World team led by Bill Belichick and Tom Brady will prevent the Jets from coming anywhere near the AFC East crown.

That being said, here is your ticket to an early retirement:

BEST BET

Dallas (-10) at Buffalo: Just to prove to Jets fans that we didn’t run into a playoff contender-we just can’t beat anybody-the ‘Boys will probably score 60 points on the Bills defense and win this game by five-times the spread. Pick: Cowboys

GAME OF THE WEEK

Chicago (-3) at Green Bay: It is a pretty weak schedule when I, the ultimate Favre hater, put the Packers in the GOTW with a team led by Brian Griese. I think Chicago is motivated enough to finally win a game against a team not named the Chiefs, though, and that Green Bay will begin its long, painful descent off Cloud Nine. Pick: Bears

J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS

New York Jets (+3.5) at New York Giants: During a typical year, anytime the Gods of the NFL Schedule opt to put the Jets and Giants on the same ticket, this game is tagged as the Game of the Week. I just can’t bring myself to endorse a game that Osi Umeniyora could end Chad Pennington’s season in, though. Pick: Giants

THE REST

Arizona (-3) at St . Louis: It’s going to be a long season for the Rams, especially if Marc Bulger is out for any extended period of time. The two-headed quarterback attack of Matt Leinart and Kurt Warner wins big. Pick: Cardinals

Atlanta (+8) at Tennessee: Atlanta has not looked bad in their past few games, and Vince Young may be overlooking this game after his team knocked off the Saints. Pick: Falcons

Carolina (+3) at New Orleans: This is going to be a low scoring game with Jake Delhomme injured and Drew Brees having to deal with the Panther defense. I think the Saints win by about three and a half. Pick: Saints

Cleveland (+17) at New England: I don’t care how many points the Pats get. They’ve somehow won every game by at least 20, and should score 50 against the Browns defense this week. Pick: Patriots

Detroit (+3.5) at Washington: Jon Kitna is rolling, Jason Campbell is overrated, and the Lions-yes, those Lions-are about to go to 4-1. Pick: Lions

Jacksonville (-2) at Kansas City: The oddsmakers will have to give the Chiefs 20 points and a new set of legs for Larry Johnson before I even consider picking them. Pick: Jaguars

Miami (+6) at Houston: Let’s go out on a limb this week and play the trends. The Jets got off the schneid two weeks ago; the Bills took home their first victory last week; it’s only fitting that the Dolphins thus win their initial game this week. (Sorry, Matt Schaub; I still love you and still need those fantasy points this week, buddy.) Pick: Dolphins

Seattle (+6) at Pittsburgh: Every single week the powers that be somehow or another GIVE points to Shaun Alexander and Matt Hasselbeck. It’s like Christmas in October! Pick: Seahawks

Tampa Bay (+10) at Indianapolis: A wise sage once told me never, ever bet against Jeff Garcia. I guess he didn’t take into account the prospect of playing Peyton Manning and Joseph Addai. Pick: Colts

Baltimore (-3) at San Francisco: If you plan on avoiding a game to pick, chose this one. Alex Smith is hurt and the Ravens just lost to the Browns with their quarterback showing flashes of Air McNair. Pick: Ravens

San Diego (+1) at Denver: The situation is so pathetic in San Diego that LaDanian Tomlinson is being given points. What is this world coming to? Whatever that may be, NEVER pick Norv Turner. Pick: Broncos

D’Brickashaw Ferguson will need to be on his game this week when he is countered by Giants DE Osi Umeniyora (Google Images)