By Jillian Sorgini
Many young, single college women look forward to the freedom of the no strings attached weekend hook up. Without the relationship label, there is no commitment and few rules to follow. As long as neither person is emotionally attached, what harm is there in fooling around?
While hooking up is by no means a new idea, Laura Sessions Stepp’s new book “Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both” brings it to the limelight. A reporter for The Washington Post, Sessions Stepp, 55, investigates the hook-up culture by following around nine young women in high school and college, ranging in age from 15 to 21, for an academic year.
In the book, Sessions Stepp writes about the emotional ramifications that hooking up can have for young women in this new “unhooked” generation.
A hook-up can range from a kiss to intercourse and everything in between. It can be with one partner consistently or many partners on different occasions. While many young women enjoy the freedom of such acts, it is the lack of commitment and emotional attachment that leaves many of them feeling confused, says Sessions Stepp.
“Hooking up can cover a lot of areas, but it also has its own implications,” she says. “It means you’re not really just hooking up, but you’re not really in a relationship either. It is hard enough to be in an intimate relationship of any kind and it’s even harder to not know where you stand with someone else.”
Despite this gray area that accompanies most hook ups, many young women still participate regularly in such acts. Among other things, it is this lack of intimacy and detachment that causes concern.
“When talking with all the girls, there was an undercurrent of dissatisfaction that, frankly, made me very sad,” says Sessions Stepp. “I wasn’t critical of it; it made me sad. Relationships are a great gift that many women are missing out on.”
While she acknowledges the fact that hooking up is a trend that is unlikely to vanish anytime soon, Sessions Stepp does not want to see it become the norm. She continues to emphasize the importance of committed relationships.
“I am not saying that you have to rush to the altar and I am not saying that every hook up is bad,” says Sessions Stepp. “They can be pleasurable, but there ought to be a middle ground between the hook up and being joined at the hip.”
Of course, not everyone feels the same way as Sessions Stepp. Many people believe that hooking up can actually be beneficial. Amy Armenia, a sociology professor at the University, does not see anything inherently wrong with the hook up culture.
“There is no reason to think that the hook up culture would be bad,” Armenia says. “Having the time when relationships aren’t being taken seriously isn’t a bad thing.”
Gender inequality is to blame for the negative feedback that young women are receiving for their actions, says Armenia. The source of the problem is not behavior, but social attitudes toward that behavior. Society stigmatizes young women who participate in the hook up culture; however, young men experience little or no negative feedback for the same actions, says Armenia.
This double standard does not hinder many young women, though. In fact, the time that women spend hooking up may actually be valuable.
The recent trends in marriage support this idea. According to an article in Newsweek, 26 is the average age for a woman to marry. For those who have a B.A., the age is above 27. For women who obtain their master’s or professional degrees, the average age is 30.
Women are now waiting to make important life decisions. “Young women are considering graduate school, getting a job and starting their career,” says Armenia. “Marriage is not necessarily the best way to get there.”
The divorce rates are also decreasing because women are not rushing into marriage. The current annual divorce rate is approximately 18 divorces per 1000 married women over the age of 15, says Armenia.
“That actually represents a decline over the last couple of decades,” Armenia says.
Even with all of these trends, Sessions Stepp still views hooking up as a hindrance. While women are taking more time to get married and start a family, they are not realizing that they can have the best of both worlds-a career and a family.
“A number of young girls feel that they have to be perfect in school, their job and their career,” says Sessions Stepp. “Now that the doors are open [to young women], we are saying now you have to be CEO. We have put an enormous pressure on girls.”
Young women at the University admit to sometimes feeling the pressure to hook up, but overall do not view it as a harmful act.
“I don’t know if girls want it to be this way, but it has become that way,” says Noelle Russo, a senior psychology major. “Yes, we are choosing not to have long-term relationships, but it’s how men treat the situation.”
When it comes to hooking up, men and women often do not see eye to eye.
“Hooking up is different for men and women,” says Kelly Wadler, a sophomore drama major. “For guys, they’re driven by their penis and pleasure. They take what they can and move on. Girls will give a lot of themselves because of the pressure to think they’re desirable.”
Despite this seemingly unbalanced situation, many women see the benefits of hooking up and use it to their advantage. Young women on the campus agree that the no strings attached hook up is appealing.
“Sometimes being emotionally invested can mess up your focus,” says Russo.
Another advantage that most women agree on is the freedom that a hook up allows. There are no set rules when hooking up as there are in a relationship.
“[Hooking up] can be bad if it gets too extreme,” says Christina Lora, a sophomore marketing major. “But really, it is just a natural thing for girls our age.”
Laura Sessions Stepp, author of “Unhooked.”