¡Ay, mami, she’s a caliente chick! You’d know if you saw her: the dark sunglasses, the perpetual scowl, the absent wave-and I’ve known her for a year! “No need to be friendly to the common folk,” she says. No holas for the unwashed mass of Hofstra.

Jillian Sorgini is a well-curved 5 feet 2 inches and has never broken 100 pounds. She loves cookies of most types and has a penchant for Britney. This print journalism and drama senior is graduating this semester, much to every male’s dismay, even the professors’: she looks as though she’s ready and willing to dress like a cow-girl and sing a few Latin songs for the class. She likes to sing, share gossip about celebrities, and talk endlessly about fashion. She also happens to be fluent in Spanglish.

Ms. Sorgini, trabaja for Details magazine, and, as guys and gals alike have noticed, she doesn’t “do” color. She hails from the New England and hopes to work for a magazine-and be a groupie for Britney, of course. Slim, sly, silent and escandalosa, she’ll be taking her cookie-sweet heart with her. “Adios, bias!”

Be sure to wear Ray-Bans and monochrome argyles when confronting this demure, haute-couture Chronicle mama-she only likes the cool guys. Good thing winter’s coming…¡ay, papi!