By Erica Erotica

The break-up virus was sickeningly disastrous this past month. In the same week my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, two friends also experienced the same heartache. Four more friends joined our newly formed club of singlehood in the next three weeks following. We went through the normal ordeal. We cried, we devoured pints of ice cream, we lashed out, we listened to sappy love music that made us cry even more, and then we got drunk. Then the cycle would begin once again until we were too broke to go out drinking.

As we shared our own experiences with either dealing through the break-up or the ex, we compiled a short list of post break-up etiquette. You know, a list of things of what NOT to do if you wanted to survive the break-up blues.

1. Snip the communication ties

The absolute worst thing to do after a break-up is to keep talking to that ex, whether or not the break-up was clean. Four of my newly single friends and I were so guilty of this, we needed to be pried off our cell phones and computers. Look, every time a break or break-up happens, you are forced to rethink and reorganize what you want in your life. You need time for yourself without getting distracted by the ex and any lingering thoughts.

My guy friend went out with his best friend, but is now broken up. Naturally, he wanted to stay in touch with her, and of course he does…every night! It’s only going to be more difficult for you and for that other person to move on.

After my break-up, I really didn’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore. Until he texted me and I couldn’t stop Facebooking him. I tortured myself every single day, doubting my decisions and then reverting back to my original thoughts. Whether it’s four weeks or two years, you have to let go and have that space. A break-up is a break-apart, emotionally, physically and mentally.

2. The ex’s things

So you have pictures and gifts from the ex still hanging in your room; put them away. Second day of my break-up, my best friend came over, took everything that was his, and boxed them up somewhere in her room. Don’t torture yourself by looking at what would remind you of what you no longer have.

If there are things that the ex left and he/she asked for them, the mature response is to give them back. Don’t try to burn them, as much as you would love to. It would only make things worse between the both of you. And the gifts, well, they are gifts. The overwhelming response is to keep them, unless they are asked back.

3. A break-up is not a declaration of war

Simply put, don’t be nasty. When one of my girl friends broke up with her ex, he became an a**hole. They were both eating in the Student Center with friends and when he saw her, he and his friends moved. Literally got up and moved to a farther table.

Another friend’s ex decided it would be relieving to lash out at her by calling her a whore and pretty much humiliating her. My friend never did anything to deserve this, especially since the break-up was clean up until that conversation. I guess it was just therapeutic for him.

Our automatic response to getting our hearts ripped apart may be to rip them apart, but you will be forever labeled bitter. Don’t make yourself a prisoner of your own anger; revenge is not bittersweet. But if you really want to be vengeful, the best revenge is by being happy.

4. Facebook apologies are NOT acceptable!

If you call your ex a whore, don’t expect forgiveness by apologizing over the Internet. Grow some f***ing balls and do it in person.

5. This is not a custody battle

If you have mutual friends, do not make this a custody battle. We don’t want anyone crying over memories of when mommy and daddy divorced. Some friends said that if they were friends of your ex or of yourself before you started going out, then go back to that. “It’s bros before hoes, chicks before dicks,” a friend reminded me.

But some others said that anyone is entitled to be friends with whoever they want. “I became closer to his best friend than [the ex] was,” a girl friend said. “I’m not going to give that up just because he wants to be a jerk.”

Whatever the case, don’t play tug-of-war with your friends. Don’t make them choose between either of you. If it really makes you that uncomfortable, talk to them. If they are true friends, they would understand.

The list could be longer, but I’ll stop right here. Break-ups are not meant to be easy, but “don’t make your life more miserable” by doing the above, a friend said. These may seem pretty obvious, be we learned that when you’re feeling like sh*t, sometimes obvious is long gone. Sometimes we just need to take a step back, breathe and remember to give ourselves time.