By Compiled by the Chronicle Staff

On the Unispan:
Girl: Ohmygod, you took that picture? It looks fake it’s so good.

Outside Bits & Bytes:
Girl: I smoked a whole pack on Friday. No, Friday night. We didn’t even have to re-light.

In the Student Center:
Woman: You’re my son’s age. But I bet your mom doesn’t look like a M–F like I do.

In the Student Center:
Girl: If you really have to ask what turns guys on, take your clothes off.

Outside the Student Center:
Guy 1: I opened the file in class and everybody heard it.
Guy 2: Why would you do that?
Guy 1: I didn’t know it was porn!

Outside the Student Center:
Guy: I’m sorry I’m late for class; I just gave the gift of life.

In the Student Center:
Guy: He was ugly… but YOLO.

Outside Calkins:
Girl: She puts butter on butter.

In Dempster:
Girl: Did I call you this weekend? I was wasted.
Guy: I don’t think so.
Girl: I think I did. I was white-girl wasted.