By Dreux Dougall

It is so disconcerting that some women cannot walk down the street without hearing offensive remarks hollered and hooted from some random guy who thinks that his cries for attention will be recognized. Now ladies, we all know there is a fine line between being respectful and being crude. There is also a fine line between joking around and crossing the line. Certainly, there are always girls who look for the attention in the spotlight and actually respond to these remarks. As for the other 80 or so percent, we prefer to be respected, not called out or labeled as today or tomorrow’s catch-of-the-day.

Not to single New York guys out, but it just seems to me that the city which hails some of the most diverse set of men around, offers something similar to a hungry dog fest looking for meat. Naturally men can be like this everywhere, but of the men that I have encountered here, it appears to me that they seem to carry around the similar ideology that because they came into the city dressed to impress that they can walk around with a P. Diddy swagger and a “run New York City” attitude that will get them noticed. So this has led me to ask the question of whether New York guys are extremely confident or just cocky beyond their years.

I have met both. First, the extremely self-assured young men who carry themselves around intelligently, with the ability to tell you things other than what they own and why you should be “riding with them”. It is reassuring, even pleasant, when I meet an ambitious young man who adds to the positive vibe and depiction of an articulate man in our society. These, ladies, are confident men, whom I am happy to say do not conform to one method of expressing themselves, which includes insults and degradation.

However, I have also met overbearing men, or I should say boys, who believe that when they open their mouths all women should just flock to their sides. These are the young men who cannot articulate themselves beyond the phrase, “Excuse me, but I think your body is God’s gift to man,” or “Yo ma how are you doing? I’d be just right if I had you in my life”.

Are you serious? Guys…let me inform you. The lack of respect for females is to the point that it needs to be addressed. There is a difference between being confident about getting a female’s number and being overtly aggressive to the point that she feels self-conscious and slightly insulted. I have found that many women feel the same way I do. I have seen young men physically grabbing females by the arms and pulling them around, in hopes that the girl will consent to that type of behavior. Excuse me? When a man decides to grab hold of me without my approval, that action only says to me: Hi. Can you please spray me with your mase and call the cops? Thanks.

This misogynistic attitude has more and more females shunning men or prejudging them before they even open their mouths. So I ask, are these men so confident that they cannot see that their conduct is inappropriate?

Here’s one story that made my outlook on the New York breed of men even more negative. My friend and I were in CVS getting some things when this guy decided he was going to approach me and “spit game.” So as we are walking down the tampon aisle (of all aisles, right?), he comes up to me and asks for my name. Now, I don’t know you. So I’m not going to say, Oh yea I’m such-n-such and I’m really interested in hearing what you have to say, because I’m not. But I’m also not going to be rude, so I ask him for his name. He then proceeds to tell me that I must be “from Atlanta or Georgia or something because up here, when a guy asks you your name, you respond accordingly by giving it”. He then shook his head and wagged his finger at me, with a brazen “you can’t do that up here in New York sweetie”. What? Now, I’m tired, I’m hungry, and he’s trying to give me a lecture as if I am a student in his “the rules of New York” class. I wanted to tell him that his cracker jack lines, his raggedy attire, and his bad breath was not any claim to fame in my book, matter of fact, it was enough for me to make me want to change my name. So instead, I just politely told him to get out of my face before I put my foot up his ass.

Of course this is only one incident. There is the standard guy who actually approaches you without his band of followers and shakes your hand. Introducing himself without having to mention any part of your body before addressing you. But I have come to realize that those can be few and far between.

But I say that, when I think of a confident man I think of fathers, brothers, co-workers, and friends. Not to say that the ones hanging down in Manhattan, on the corner of 42nd Street and Times Square who try to talk to me are not that. But let’s face it. Everyday I hear another story about how some guy decided he wanted to try his luck at being some sort of pimp. News flash. I highly doubt that the majority of men under 25 have the financial status, the prestige, or the ability to successfully emulate rappers Snoop Doggy Dogg or 50 cent. And if you do, then you should not be on the corner of 42nd Street, holding a cheeseburger in your hands, hollering “Yo, shorty with the big butt…how bout you hop in my ride.” Until men learn how to deem females as more than just meat on legs, then I guess when P. Diddy says in his lyrics, “Cocky, the state of New York,” guys will continue to follow suit.