Photo by Ahmed M Elpahwee on Unsplash

I always thought that telling kids to “shoot for the stars” was a lie. It never made sense to me. Shooting for the stars didn’t seem like a fair goal to try to achieve. Then I got older, and the bigger lie seemed to be how dismissive people were of the goals we had wanted to attain as kids. There’s a quote in the movie “Bleed for This” when a reporter asks Vinnie Pazienza what the biggest lie was growing up. Vinnie says: “It’s not that simple.” Those four words were a lie.

Success is a hard concept to clearly define. The Oxford Dictionary defines success as, “the fact that you have achieved something that you want and have been trying to do or get.” It’s not a quantitative metric by any means; it’s more of a goal that’s been accomplished. Is success when you’ve reached the peak of your ability? Is it when your parents recognize your efforts and express their pride? Is it how we look next to our friends? Is it when our records aren’t broken? It is the apple of our eye in a basket full of them. None of these feel intrinsic to me, and our society’s view of success keeps shifting. I think that success is only measured by our own obsession with it.

To be clear, obsession over success is in no way equivalent to a neurological disorder like obsessive compulsive disorder. The discussion at hand is important to differentiate; the casual meaning of the term often gets used in that “quirky” way we tend to use when we color code our notes. When we think of the word “obsession,” we tend to internalize it in a negative or shallow way. I think that obsession over a goal or idea’s success doesn’t have to be unhealthy. Obsessing over our goals doesn’t mean we can’t be mindful of our actions and the lives around us.

A common TikTok trend since 2020, #romanticizeyourlife, is a movement that focuses on mindfulness. According to the trend, it’s imperative that we keep an eye on how we’re making decisions and treating ourselves. We should strive for a healthy lifestyle with positive self-talk. We don’t have to compare our own achievements in relation to others. We should prioritize our physical health like our diet and sleep habits.

This doesn’t mean that our life must be balanced equally in all parts at the same time. Success often requires sacrifice and discomfort; an idea we can’t commit to without some level of obsession. Sometimes, we have to prioritize our dreams over daily comforts to be truly successful. 

It might mean skipping a social event or cancelling a date night. Maybe it means getting criticized by our peers who may say that our decisions aren’t healthy; the phrases “take a break” and “you work too much” might filter in. The sacrifices we make to achieve our goals can be miserable. The likelihood of all that sacrifice and failure is a reason to quit early.

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that “20% of new businesses fail during the first two years of being open, 45% during the first five years and 65% during the first 10 years.” The Public Library of Science found that “only 16.5% of students who intended to major in pre-med graduate college with the required coursework for medical schools.” The list of difficulties within college programs and sports continues endlessly, increasing for individuals with socioeconomic difficulties or health issues. Wouldn’t it be so much easier to write it all off in the name of a “balanced lifestyle”?

I say double down. Grit your teeth and nod when people offer unwanted opinions on how to succeed in your own life. Be polite yet firm as you filter out negativity. Take the time to feel your emotions when you’re upset at failing. Choose not to respond when you don’t have the capacity to. Suffer through the FOMO that you’re missing the bar nights or social events. It doesn’t matter if it’s an LSAT exam or a NCAA win. It could be a daily gym routine or a doctorate. 

I beg you to obsess over the image or idea you want to bring to fruition concerning your own success. I’m happy to take care of my physical and mental health to grow. At the same time, I’d take an obsessive need to succeed over a passive route every single time. Otherwise, it feels meaningless.