By Anna Aphrodesia
Hoes before bros.
Chicks before dicks.
These are the nursery rhymes of our early teenage years, but generally, we never understand the true meaning behind these sayings until later in life.
While our parents sit us down and have the awkward sex talk, there is never any conversation about girl code-that unwritten and unspoken code among girl friends.
It’s as if we are supposed to instinctively know how to navigate the territory between girls and guys. But everything always gets complicated when feelings are involved.
At this point in the semester, you’ve established your social circle and probably see the same groups of people out every weekend. Let’s face it, there are a lot more girls at the University than guys and the number of good-looking guys is limited. You are bound to hookup or even date someone that one of your girlfriends has been involved with. While it sounds kind of gross (and even mildly incestuous) it is not all that uncommon.
To save you from any unnecessary drama this semester or in the future, I will break down a few simple, but often overlooked, rules of girl code.
Scenario number 1: You like a guy that one of your friends once liked.
Notice the past tense. If your friend still likes him, she is going to be really hurt if you go for him as well. Should you choose to pursue him and you end up getting him, you risk the chance of losing your friend.
If she once mentioned the fact that she had a crush on him but is now involved with someone else, he is fair game.
Of course, this rule is not as simple as it seems. If your friend spent months pining after this guy to no avail, I would advise you to tread careful. While nothing may have happened between them and even if she moved on, if this is her childhood crush, it is best that you find someone else.
Scenario number 2: You like a guy that your friend hooked up with.
The hook-up is the biggest gray area of girl code. Hooking up is a big trend on campus, but you have to be able to gauge the amount of emotions attached to the hook-up.
If the hook-up was based on nothing more than physical attraction, you can proceed. However, if it was one of the hook-ups that could be defined as a pseudo-relationship, he is off-limits.
Scenario number 3: You like your friend’s ex-boyfriend.
This should not even be a scenario. He is completely off-limits. There are no exceptions to this rule. Unless of course you are willing to sacrifice your friendship for a guy – trust me, it is never worth it.
Scenario number 4: Your two friends were dating and they broke up.
This situation is often the most complicated. If you were friends with him before he started dating your friend, you have every right to maintain that friendship. However, keep your friendships separate. If she confides in you that she misses him or vice versa, it is not your place to share that information.
If you only became acquaintances with him because he was dating your friend, you really should not talk to him or hang out with him. Even if it is just as friends, this will create nothing but drama.
It is a common misconception among guys that all girls have to hate their friend’s ex-boyfriends. Unless he did something that warrants hate, like cheating, you do not have to hate him.
Scenario number 5: You are hooking up with a guy that has a girlfriend.
Whether you know the girlfriend or not, this is just wrong. What good can result from hooking up with a cheater? Even if he leaves her for you, you could never have a relationship based on trust.
The sad truth about this rule is that guys are often encouraged to cheat on their girlfriends. This past weekend, a friend tried to set me up with his friend despite the fact he had a girlfriend.
I don’t know what they are thinking, but guy code is a totally different set of rules that I will not even try to touch.
