By Erica Erotica

My ex-roommate was once described as a “pre-recorded porn video;” people would walk down our dorm hallway and her moans, which were more Hollywood-fake than “true-lovesincere”, would seep through the cracks of an upperclassman’s door. A week from their initial love fest, they became exclusive. Two years later, their final break-up (at least for now) came as a relief for those who witnessed their rocky relationship.

Recently, I heard that an old acquaintance’s two-week f*** buddy may just turn into something more than f***ing after parties. Another acquaintance is, in her words, “trying to stop [herself] from being stupid” on her way to another “casual” hook-up.

What is it about a dick that just weakens a woman’s sense of dignity? Is the old adage, “a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” transforming into the collegiate version, “the way to a man’s heart is through his pants”?

Confused by why so many of us sleep our way into relationships, I sat down with a group of fellow dormers to seek out the truth about sex-based relationships. Is it (emotionally) safe or is it a sign of (impending) doom?

We first delved into what a healthy relationship actually entails. Both males and females unanimously agreed that conversation is the center of any lasting relationship. Both partners should be on the same level of communication; if you’re in doubt, talk.

Unsurprisingly, when hook-ups entered our conversation, an argument about the double standard ensued. The women argued, truthfully, that we think of sex and get as horny as men do. We’re just more subtle about our primal needs. They agreed that although men want “it,” men are quicker to judge about sexual actions that their bros would otherwise consider “the shit.”

One particular male suggested that an initial hook-up would lead him to see the woman as a “hit it and quit it” call, but nothing further. A relationship is possible, he said, but rarely.

Another said that it’s difficult to picture long walks on the beach with someone who is sleeping with you on the first night. He questions who else has this woman “put out for?” There’s an automatic standard when you sleep with a woman, the guys added. If there’s ever a potential, one must question her intentions and whatnot.

Although unsettling to hear as a woman, is it not true that some (not all) women fall for the charming promises uttered in the climactic moments of passion? Other interviewees suggested that women, biologically gifted with superior hearts than men, sometimes mistake a man’s rampant eyes waiting for insertion for eyes “searching into her soul.”

The men advised that hook-ups-to-relationship is usually a one-way road to nothing. They warn that many men are “using you.” There are exceptions, but, just as men may set standards for f*** buddies, women should not and cannot fool themselves with expectations and false hopes after a night, two weeks or two years.

A friend put it more effectively as she recalled her previous sex-based relationship.

“We did it just because we could,” she said. “It was like brushing your teeth before bed. There was only motion.”

Just as my ex-roommate’s relationship had been, her relationship also lacked a crucial aspect: conversation. She and her ex spent half their relationship asking why the other was so annoying, which could possibly have been avoided if they learned more about each other.

Men, understand that we crave sex. Take me, for example. I’ve been in a two-year long distance relationship, and I can never help myself from pouncing on my boyfriend the first chance I get. We just want it.

But do us a favor and don’t label us “whores” for wanting it as much as men. If we didn’t, men wouldn’t be getting any.

Ladies, if you want casual sex, go for it, but be smart. Just because he’s calling doesn’t always mean you are the only one he calls. If a good relationship is judged on how many times the couple gets naked, then there’s a problem.

Nevertheless, there are people who can have both equally: the toe-curling sex and the healthy emotions. If it is worth it (and some are), a male interviewee said that there must be “an appreciation of each other’s needs, not just your own.”