By The Chronicle Staff
In the Student Center
Girl: You’re walkin’ too fast. How you gonna protect me from people?
In the Student Center
Guy: That kid lives on my floor, he’s a wizard.
In Class
Professor: I don’t have your paper.
Guy: No, that’s my paper. I’m [student’s name].
Professor: Are you sure?
In Class
Guy: Yeah she assigned something, but I was sleeping so I missed it.
Girl: Are you talking about the midterm?
In Enterprise Hall
Guy: These bathrooms are disgusting. I found a condom in a stall and it wasn’t even mine.
In Au Bon Pain
Girl 1: I love this place. I eat here everyday.
Girl 2: You’re gonna get huge.
Girl 1: Not if I eat the soup.
Girl 2: No, I’m pretty sure there’s bread in that soup.